Team Members Comic Strips

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225 Results for Team Members

View 1 - 10 results for team members comic strips. Discover the best "Team Members" comics from Dilbert.com.

Can You Explain

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Can You Explain - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share December 31, 2019's comic on:

Tags #technology, #product, #experience, #content, #salesman

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dilbert: can you explain what your product does? salesman: our product was created by an experienced team of technologists to address the way content is surfaced. dilbert: next time just say, "no."

Magazine Article

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Magazine Article - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share December 26, 2019's comic on:

Tags #business, #publication, #salesman, #advertisement, #best, #company, #decision

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magazine salesman: our publication is considering naming your company one of the best places to work. on a totally unrelated topic, our sales team will be contacting you about buying lots and lots of advertisements. boss: and if we don't? magazine salesman: who would want to work at a company that makes such bad decisions?

Adding Insult To Injury

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Adding Insult To Injury - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share December 10, 2019's comic on:

Tags #business, #tech support, #customer, #calls, #interface, #reboot, #idiot

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boss: i hired the dogbert tech support team to help with customer calls because our user interface is so sadistic. dilbert: wouldn't that be adding insult to injury? boss: how so? dogbert in a office at a desk yelling: try rebooting, you idiot. and don't call again!

Skipping Teambuilding

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Skipping Teambuilding - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share August 27, 2019's comic on:

Tags #boss, #celebration, #irritation, #managers & supervisors, #office workers, #parties, #sarcasm, #team

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Alice: Can I skip the team-building celebration to get some work done? Boss: No, because I'm trying to change the culture. Alice: To what? Angry and unproductive? Boss: Trust the cake.

Teambuilding Celebration

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Teambuilding Celebration - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share August 26, 2019's comic on:

Tags #celebration, #employees, #office workers, #parties, #rules

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Boss: Dilbert, I want you to plan the team-building celebration. Make sure there is no alcohol, no dancing, no touching, no flirting, and no joking around. Dilbert: Can we eat? Boss: Only food that has never been near a peanut.

Dilbert Characters

Poor Communication Skills

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Poor Communication Skills - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share August 08, 2019's comic on:

Tags #communication, #employees, #office, #office workers, #questions, #projects

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Man: Would you like to be on my project team? Dilbert: Hard pass. Your communication skills are so poor that the project is doomed to failure. Man: I meant to say your boss already assigned you to my project. Dilbert: We're off to a good start.

Thanking Everyone By Name

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Thanking Everyone By Name - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share July 26, 2019's comic on:

Tags #business, #managers & supervisors, #name

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boss: i'd like to thank each member of the team by name...i'll start with what's-his-face here. voice from crowd: it's dilbert. boss: no, that's not it. you look like steve.

Drooling Incompetents

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Drooling Incompetents - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share June 29, 2019's comic on:

Tags #business, #managers & supervisors, #office, #office workers, #competent, #incompetent

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wally at team meeting. wally: i've been asked to lead this project toward failure so my boss can convince our ceo to cancel it. wally: i'd like all of the competent people on the team to step aside, while the drooling incompetents who remain drive it into a ditch. office worker: how can we know who among us are the competent ones? wally: well, for starters, they don't ask that question.

Lawyers Take Years

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Lawyers Take Years - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share June 21, 2019's comic on:

Tags #business, #lawyers, #office, #agreement, #years

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team meeting in conference room. dilbert: we can close the deal as soon as our lawyers tweak a few minor sentences in the agreement. the boss: how long will that take? dilbert: probably several years. the boss: what if i help them? dilbert: add 3 years.

Bad Planning

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Bad Planning - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share May 10, 2019's comic on:

Tags #business, #office, #office workers, #teamwork, #team, #deadline

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ted: i need your help on my project today, or i'll miss my deadline. dilbert: are you trying to turn your lack of planning into my problem? ted: i was hoping you would be a team player. dilbert: i'm holding out for an offer from a better team.