Teds Brain Comic Strips

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255 Results for Teds Brain

View 1 - 10 results for teds brain comic strips. Discover the best "Teds Brain" comics from Dilbert.com.

Ted's Long Email

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You Make Luck

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You Make Luck - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags business, technology, luck, wisdom, rewiring, super, employee, double, workload, brain, rewire, monster

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boss: remember, asok, you don't find luck, you go out and make it. asok yelling and waving arms: i feel your wisdom rewiring my brain and turning me into a super-employee! boss: it usually doesn't work this fast. asok: please double my workload, you beautiful monster!

Cake For Ted

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Cake For Ted - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags business, office workers, cake, conference, birthday, invite, sarcasm

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wally: we're having cake in the conference room for ted's birthday. dilbert: i don't like ted. wally: no one does. we didn't invite him. dilbert: then why are we having an event for him? wally: we like cake?

Reimagine Ted's Job

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Reimagine Ted's Job - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags boring, business, job, new, pay, projects, reimagine, technology, compensation

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boss: ted, we need to reimagine your job. ted: i hope that means you will replace the boring parts of my job with exciting new projects. boss: it doesn't mean that. boss: does it mean doing the same work for higher pay?

Boss Using Phone

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Boss Using Phone   - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags cell phone, distraction, managers & supervisors, sarcasm, technology, business, disrespect, hear, face mask

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dilbert: are you listening to me? it looks as if you are using your phone. boss: i can do two things at once. dilbert: i'll bet you can't even hear me, you ridiculous moron. boss: uh-huh uh-huh go on. dilbert: you smell like old socks, and your brain is made of cheese.

Getting Opinions

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Getting Opinions - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags office workers, technology, input, dumb, human, universe, Opinion, strategy, worse

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boss: get ted's input before you finalize the plan. dilbert: ted is the dumbest human being in the known universe. his opinion can only make things worse. boss: that's how we do it here. dilbert: i didn't realize it was a strategy.

Alice's Brain Is Full

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Alice's Brain Is Full - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags business, managers & supervisors, brain, full, memory, work

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boss: why aren't you working? alice: my brain is full. boss: i'll check back later. alice: i won't remember you.

Brain Fog

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Brain Fog - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags co-workers, business, health, meds, i.q., handsome, name

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dilbert: i have brain fog from the meds i took last night. my i.q. is down by 50%, but i make up for it by being handsome. alice: sounds more like a 75% situation. dilbert: now, can someone remind me of my name?

Smarter Than An Engineer

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Smarter Than An Engineer - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags managers & supervisors, health, allergy, brain, fog, i.q., smart, engineer

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dilbert: i took allergy meds last night, and now i have brain fog. my i.q. is about 50% of normal capacity. boss: whoo-hoo! i'm smarter than an engineer! dilbert: not quite. i'm only down by 50%.

Time Travel By Printer

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Time Travel By Printer - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags business, presentation, technolgy, molecular, scan, body, brain, time travel, 3d print, meeting

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dilbert giving a presentation: i invented a device that can scan your body and brain at molecular level. now you can time travel by killing yourself and leaving instructions to 3d-print you back to life in the future when the technology is able. response: where will you find anyone dumb enough to test it? dilbert: have you ever attended a meeting at this company?