Tell People Ideas Comic Strips

You can also use "quotes" and & to narrow down results.

1000 Results for Tell People Ideas

View 1 - 10 results for tell people ideas comic strips. Discover the best "Tell People Ideas" comics from Dilbert.com.

Anonymous Sources

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Anonymous Sources - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #business, #sarcasm, #technology, #company, #anonymous, #credibility, #trust, #lie, #thief, #sources

View Transcript

Transcript

boss: anonymous sources tell me you have been stealing from the company. dilbert: anonymous sources have no credibility. boss: that's exactly what they told me you'd say. dilbert: why do you trust them over me? boss: well, for one thing, i hear you're a thief. dilbert: you heard that from the anonymous sources that have no credibility! boss: why would they lie to me? dilbert: same reason you lie to me. boss: okay, that makes sense.

Frequent Victims Club

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Frequent Victims Club - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #business, #join, #frequent, #victim, #club, #beverage, #minute, #dollar, #track, #purchases, #sell, #data, #colleagues, #stores, #customer, #servey

View Transcript

Transcript

man with red apron: would you like to join our frequent victims club? dilbert: no, i just want to buy this beverage. man: you could save a dollar if you join now. it only takes a minute. dilbert: i don't want you tracking my purchases and selling my data. man: i you don't sign up, my colleagues and i will pester you to do it every time you try to buy something. dilbert: i'll take my business elsewhere! man: no. you won't. because other stores are just as bad as we are. dilbert: i am not a victim! man: tell that to the customer survey i'm about to pester you into doing.

Nominate A Coworker

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Nominate A Coworker - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #business, #months, #recommendations, #co-workers, #office workers, #recognize, #superior, #work, #nominated, #honest, #idea, #coffee

View Transcript

Transcript

boss: two months ago, i asked you all for recommendations on co-workers who should be recognized for superior work. on day one, you all nominated yourselves. since then it has been quiet. dilbert: if i'm being honest, it wasn't one of your brightest ideas.

Forty Minutes Late

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Forty Minutes Late - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #business, #jerk, #late, #minutes, #punish, #sarcasm, #technology, #waiting, #cell phone

View Transcript

Transcript

voice from Dilbert's cell phone: i'll be forty minutes late. dilbert: i just wasted twenty minutes waiting! why didn't you tell me as soon as you knew? voice from phone: because i knew you would be a jerk about it. so i punished you. dilbert: oh.

C Level Sacrifice

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
C Level Sacrifice - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #business, #political issues, #stock market, #technology, #brand, #board, #fire, #Politics, #ruin, #human, #sacrifice, #chief technology officer, #performance, #employment

View Transcript

Transcript

catbert: the board wants to fire you for speaking out about politics and ruining our brand. ceo: ask if they'll accept a c-level human sacrifice instead. catbert: they said yes. ceo: now fire my cto and tell him it's something about his performance.

Make Us Look Good

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Make Us Look Good - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #business, #managers & supervisors, #press release, #company, #support, #social, #issues, #complaining, #awesome, #research, #appearances

View Transcript

Transcript

ceo: write a press release saying our company supports whatever social issues people are griping about lately. tina: does it matter which issues i pick? ceo: nah. just make us look awesome. tina: should i research the issues first? ceo: are you trying to not get the point?

Ceo Wants To Get Involved In Politics

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Ceo Wants To Get Involved In Politics  - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #business, #political issues, #Politics, #stock market, #technology, #company, #controversial, #predict, #impact, #drop, #earnings, #stock, #sell, #involvement

View Transcript

Transcript

ceo: i've decided our company needs to get more involved in controversial politics. dilbert: wouldn't the predictable impact of that be a huge drop in our earnings? ceo: no, no. people will love us for getting involved. dilbert: can you at least hold off until i sell all of my stock.

Bigot In Your Mind

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Bigot In Your Mind - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #business, #managers & supervisors, #boss, #marriage, #avoid, #bigot, #mind, #self-deception, #real world, #Win, #hire

View Transcript

Transcript

boss: i hear you're marrying an elbonian man to avoid being called a bigot. but it doesn't work that way. you can still be a bigot in your mind, no matter what you do in the real world. dilbert: so... there's no way to win? boss: did i forget to tell you that when i hired you?

Marrying An Elbonian

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Marrying An Elbonian  - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #business, #elbonia, #accusations, #marriage, #plan, #job, #name, #sarcasm, #bigot

View Transcript

Transcript

dilbert and dogbert on couch at home. dilbert: people at work accused me of being bigoted against elbonian men, so i'm marrying one to prove them wrong and keep my job. dogbert: what's his name? dilbert: i think it's something like gluppfril or breemf. dogbert: sounds like a solid plan.

Dilbert Doesn't See Hats

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Dilbert Doesn't See Hats  - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #hat, #sarcasm, #business, #elbonia, #big, #working, #sight, #patronizing

View Transcript

Transcript

Elbonian man: i heard a rumor that you hate working with people who wear big hats. dilbert: i don't see hats. elbonian man: are you patronizing me right now? dilbert: i can't tell.