Ten Percent Commission Comic Strips

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308 Results for Ten Percent Commission

View 1 - 10 results for ten percent commission comic strips. Discover the best "Ten Percent Commission" comics from Dilbert.com.

Memory Science

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Memory Science - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share August 16, 2019's comic on:


Tags #laziness, #memory, #office workers, #restaurant workers, #sarcasm, #science, #presentation

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Wally: According to the science of memory, you are likely to forget ninety percent of what I present today. So I got rid of ninety percent of my slides to focus on the one slide that matters. Voice: Or were you too lazy to make more than one slide? Wally: I already forgot ninety percent of what you just said.

Circular Debating

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Circular Debating - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share August 04, 2019's comic on:


Tags #argument, #debates, #frustration, #moon, #conspiracy

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Wally: Thanks to my new circular debating technique. I haven't lost a debate in weeks. Watch this. The moon landing was a hoax. Man: No, it wasn't. Wally: The flag was moving in the wind. Man: I'll send you a link debunking the flag thing. Wally: Okay, but how do you explain the multiple light sources? Man: Here's another link debunking that claim. Fifteen minutes later Man: I have now debunked all ten of your ridiculous claims will you agree the moon landing was real? Wally: How do you explain the flag moving? Man: Gaaaa!!! I give up!! You win!!!

Wally Plans His Retirement

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Wally Plans His Retirement - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share April 14, 2019's comic on:


Tags #business, #office, #office workers, #retirement, #profit

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wally: the product i'm developing will be unprofitable for the first none years, but revenue will surge in the tenth. the boss: didn't you tell me you plan to retire in nine years? wally: maybe. the boss: you will be happily retired before we find out if profits really do surge in year ten. the boss: that makes everything you say sound suspicious. wally: numbers don't lie. the boss: who came up with the numbers? wally: that's all the time we have for questions.

Not In My Town

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Not In My Town - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share April 02, 2019's comic on:


Tags #business, #engineering, #office, #office workers, #nuclear

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dilbert: i engineered a totally safe design for nuclear power plants. ceo: how sure are you that it is safe? dilbert: one hundred percent. ceo: just keep it away from my town. dilbert: maybe it wasn't an engineering problem after all.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share March 24, 2019's comic on:


Tags #argument, #debates, #frustration, #office workers, #evidence

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Man: ...And that's what I think about the issue. Dilbert: Here's a Youtube video proving that everything you believe is wrong. Notice this isn't just an opinion. It is a video of the entire event you just claimed did not happen. I'm sending you a link to ten media stories debunking your version of events. Having now proved how wrong you are. Would you like to retract everything you said about it? Man: Why can't you admit when you are wrong? Dilbert: Because I'm not wrong!!!

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share March 17, 2019's comic on:


Tags #failure, #inventions, #office workers, #power, #science, #success

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Dilbert: I predict fusion power will be a big deal in fifteen years. Man: Fusion reactors are impossible to build and always will be. Dilbert: Then why are a dozen startups working on it? Man: Everyone who ever tried to create a fusion reactor has failed so far. Dilbert: Thomas Edison failed many times at making a useful incandescent light bulb before he succeeded. Would you have advised him to give up after the first ten failed attempts? I eagerly await your irrational response. Man: Incandescent bulbs are bad for the environment. Dilbert: And there it is.

Employee Engagement Is Up

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Employee Engagement Is Up - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share March 06, 2019's comic on:


Tags #employees, #managers & supervisors, #obliviousness, #questions, #data, #measurement

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Boss: And I've improved employee engagement by nineteen percent. CEO: What is employee engagement? Boss: I'm not entirely sure. CEO: Then how do you measure it? Boss: Honestly, I wasn't expecting a lot of questions.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share February 17, 2019's comic on:


Tags #distraction, #exercise & fitness, #frustration, #lunch, #office workers, #time, #walking, #coworkers

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Dilbert: Would you like to take a long walk with me at lunch to get some exercise? Tina: That's a great idea! Dilbert: Okay, I'll come get you at noon. Ready? Tina: Yes, I only need ten minutes to finish this. Dilbert: I only have an hour for lunch, and your ten minutes will turn into twenty. Tina: That's okay because I wore heels today and I can't walk more than a block anyway. Dilbert: Why did you agree to take a long walk if you couldn't take a long walk? Tina: Because I was planning to walk to the store on the corner to do an errand anyway. Dilbert: You've ruined my walk! Tina: Just give me forty minutes to wrap this up.

Lower The Price

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Lower The Price - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share February 13, 2019's comic on:


Tags #boss, #business, #office, #office workers, #prices, #negotiate

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Dilbert: My boss will yell at me if I don't negotiate a lower price. What can you do for me? Man: I lowered the price by ten percent before I showed it to you. Dilbert: I have no way of verifying your claim. Man: Neither does your boss. Problem solved.

Ten Year Financial Projections

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Ten Year Financial Projections - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share February 01, 2019's comic on:


Tags #budget, #business, #finances, #guilt, #office, #office workers

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Tina: How reliable are your ten-year financial projections? Dilbert: They are as reliable as all other ten-year financial predictions. Tina: Okay, good. Dilbert: Why do I feel guilty every time I talk at work?