Test Missle Comic Strips

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161 Results for Test Missle

View 1 - 10 results for test missle comic strips. Discover the best "Test Missle" comics from Dilbert.com.

Time Travel By Printer

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Time Travel By Printer - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share November 09, 2019's comic on:

Tags #business, #presentation, #technolgy, #molecular, #scan, #body, #brain, #time travel, #3d print, #meeting

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dilbert giving a presentation: i invented a device that can scan your body and brain at molecular level. now you can time travel by killing yourself and leaving instructions to 3d-print you back to life in the future when the technology is able. response: where will you find anyone dumb enough to test it? dilbert: have you ever attended a meeting at this company?

Test Device Analogy

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Test Device Analogy - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share October 08, 2019's comic on:

Tags #office workers, #technology, #power drill, #test, #device, #analogy, #office

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dilbert: i designed the test device to be held like one would hold a power drill ted: that's stupid. that product can't drill a hole in anything ceo: good point dilbert: that's... not... how analogies work. ted: and what if i don't need to drill anything? ceo: yeah!

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- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share March 31, 2019's comic on:

Tags #conversation, #Food, #friends, #office, #office workers

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Man: I'm a foodie. Are you foodie too? Dilbert: I think of food as fuel. Man: But you enjoy eating good food, right? Dilbert: I try to avoid food that tastes good. That way, I won't overeat. I usually just check my plate for any stray bandages, and that's about it. If my food passes that test, I shovel it toward my mouth while reading stuff on my phone. Man: I don't think I can be your friend. Dilbert: That worked out better than I hoped.

Adjust The Data

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Adjust The Data - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share February 20, 2019's comic on:

Tags #business ethics, #engineering, #managers & supervisors, #office, #research, #tests, #data

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Dilbert: The test data doesn't support our plan. Boss: We know our plan is brilliant, so just adjust the data to support it. Dilbert: You mean falsify the data. Boss: Let's not get hung up on the definition of things.

Ask Ted

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Ask Ted - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share December 24, 2018's comic on:

Tags #employees, #insults, #office workers, #sarcasm, #technology

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Man: Do you have the test data? Dilbert: No. Ask Ted. Man: Ted said you have it. Dilbert: I say Ted has it. Man: One of you must dislike me. Dilbert: That's not true. It could be both of us.

Dilbert Characters

Catbert Personality Test

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Catbert Personality Test - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share October 22, 2018's comic on:

Tags #Catbert, #applicants, #personality, #test, #reliable, #Astrology, #reliability

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Catbert: All job applicants must take the Catbert personality test to see how well they will fit into our culture. Studies show the test is twice as reliable as using astrology alone. Man: Astrology has zero reliability. Catbert: You're not a good fit.

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- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share October 21, 2018's comic on:

Tags #Dilbert, #the boss, #test, #scripts, #software, #project, #hardware, #tests, #version, #final, #release, #volunteering, #testing, #player

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The Boss: I need someone to run some test scripts on the new software. Dilbert: I can do that my project is on hold until the new hardware arrives. The Boss: Great, I'll need you to run the same tests on every version until final release. Dilbert: Um... I was only volunteering to do it once it isn't my job to do all the testing. The Boss: Too late. You're the test script guy now. Dilbert: You're adding an entirely new job to my existing job! The Boss: Don't you want to be a team player? Dilbert: Of course I do. The Boss: Good. I just put you on the losing team.

When Will Ted By Done

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When Will Ted By Done - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share October 20, 2018's comic on:

Tags #Dilbert, #the boss, #test, #data, #ted, #working, #done, #range

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The Boss: When will I get the test data? Dilbert: I don't know Ted is working on that. The Boss: When do you think he will be done? Dilbert: I know. I'm not Ted. The Boss: Just give me a range. Dilbert: Between one day and seven-hundred years.

Dogbert The Sociopath

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Dogbert The Sociopath - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share October 13, 2018's comic on:

Tags #Dilbert, #Dogbert, #test, #sociopath, #question, #lost, #interest, #end, #conversation

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Dogbert: I took a test to find out if I'm a sociopath. I got every question right. Dilbert: And by "right," you mean...? Dogbert: I already lost interest in your end of the conversation.

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- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share August 12, 2018's comic on:

Tags #the boss, #Dogbert, #unhealthy, #exercise, #mouse

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Dogbert: All of your employees are fat and unhealthy. That's why you should replace your outdated cubicles with treadmill desks. My company makes a treadmill desk that requires no electricity. The Boss: What if the employees don't like it? Dogbert: They already hate everything about their jobs there's no real downside. The Boss: Good point. Dogbert: I know. I'll send you one of our demo units so you can test it out. The boss: I finally feel as if I'm getting somewhere.