Think Clearly Comic Strips

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View 1 - 10 results for think clearly comic strips. Discover the best "Think Clearly" comics from Dilbert.com.

Think About Long Term

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Wally Makes A Suggestion

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Wally Makes A Suggestion - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #business, #managers & supervisors, #sarcasm, #technology, #product idea, #idea, #debunk

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wally: did you see my brilliant product idea i emailed to you? boss: yes, i already debunked it in my mind. wally: perhaps you could share your reasons. boss: if it's such a great idea. why isn't someone else doing it? and if someone is already doing it, we are far too late. in order for your idea to be good, i would have to think you are smarter than everyone in the industry. and seriously, just look at you. anyone else have an idea? others: nope. nope, never. nope.

Bad Attitude

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Bad Attitude - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #business, #technology, #work, #exceptional, #complain, #attitude, #bad, #dislike, #sarcasm

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boss: your work has been exceptional, but people are complaining about your attitude. dilbert: aren't the people who are doing the complaining usually the ones with bad attitudes. boss: they think you dislike them. dilbert: i do, but i have a terrific attitude about it.

Pick Midpoint

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Pick Midpoint - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #business, #managers & supervisors, #technology, #projections, #accurate, #random, #guess, #midpoint, #decision

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bos: which of your two projections do you think is more accurate? dilbert: they are both random guesses. i made two of them to create an illusion of a credible range. boss: so...would it be reasonable to pick the midpoint? dilbert: it's as reasonable as your other decisions.

Ai For Management Decisoins

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Ai For Management Decisoins - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #business, #managers & supervisors, #technology, #smart speaker, #artificial intelligence, #management, #bug

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Dilbert: i upgraded our a.i. prototype to make management decisions. smart speaker: slay the weak dilbert: i think that's a bug. boss: hold on. let's hear it out.

Smells Like A Trap

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Smells Like A Trap  - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #business, #office, #office workers, #sarcasm, #disagreement, #change, #data, #reason, #trap, #insomnia

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dilbert: yesterday someone disagreed with me, and i changed his mind using data and reason. wally: that isn't possible. dilbert: i didn't think so either, but it happened. wally: smells like a trap. dilbert: i couldn't sleep all night.

Rewriting Shakespeare

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Rewriting Shakespeare - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #author, #play, #sarcasm, #writing, #shakespeare, #confidence, #rewriting, #plot, #dialogue, #drunk

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Dogbert: My new hobby is rewriting shakespeare's plays so the sentences make sense. He had some good plot ideas, but I think he was drunk when he wrote the dialogue. Dilbert: i admire your confidence. Dogbert typing: "where are you, Romeo?"

Real Men Multitask

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Real Men Multitask  - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #business, #managers & supervisors, #technology, #software, #software design, #concentrate, #multitask, #distraction, #kill, #error

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boss: do you ever think about the fact that one small error in your software design could kill hundreds of people? all it would take is some kind of distraction while you are trying to concentrate. dilbert: are you done? boss: a real man could multitask in this situation.

Banana Is Not An Apple

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Banana Is Not An Apple - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #anger, #apple, #argue, #banana, #business, #doctored image, #google, #managers & supervisors, #search, #wrong

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dilbert holding out banana: i'm not hungry today. do you want my banana? boss: that's an apple. dilbert: um..no this is a banana. boss: clearly it is not. dilbert: i can't believe you are making me do a google search to prove i know what a banana is. see? those are bananas. this looks just like the photos. this is a banana. those images are doctored. dilbert yelling: there are a million banana images! they are not all doctored! boss: you know how i know you are wrong? because you never admit you are wrong. gotcha! dilbert yelling: that is not a thing!!! boss: that's exactly what all the people who are wrong say.

Boss Bluffs On Blockchain

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Boss Bluffs On Blockchain - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #business, #managers & supervisors, #technology, #blockchain, #byte, #code, #consensus, #bluff

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boss in meeting: i'm no expert on blockchain, but i think... we need to get the evm stack on the bytecode so we don't run into a consensus fork. boss to ted: did that mean anything? ted: don't ask me. i'm bluffing too.