Took Desk Comic Strips

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View 1 - 10 results for took desk comic strips. Discover the best "Took Desk" comics from Dilbert.com.

Dilbert Feels Overwhelmed

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Dilbert Feels Overwhelmed - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share March 09, 2019's comic on:


Tags #life, #office, #office workers, #panic, #overwhelmed

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Dilbert: I'm feeling overwhelmed by all the things I need to get done. Boss: Have you tried eliminating your personal life? Dilbert: That took care of itself. Boss: Okay, that's the only idea I had.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share January 06, 2019's comic on:


Tags #argument, #boss, #complaining, #eating, #managers & supervisors, #office, #office workers, #sounds

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Boss: I need to talk to you about your apple-eating. Dilbert: My what? Boss: Every afternoon you eat an apple at your desk. Your co-workers are complaining because it's loud. They can't work with all of your crispy chewing noise. Dilbert: In my defense, my co-workers are so incompetent that the less work they do, the better off the company is. Boss: That is a surprisingly robust defense. I'll come back if I can think of a counter-argument. Dilbert: Good luck. Crunch.

Bringing The Outdoors In

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Bringing The Outdoors In - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share December 18, 2018's comic on:


Tags #desk, #excited, #nature, #office, #office workers

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Dilbert: Something exciting happened at work today. We reconfigured the cubicles, and now I have a partial view of a potted plant. Dogbert: You're happy about seeing half of a potted plant? Dilbert: I call it bringing the outdoors in.

The Candy Honor System

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The Candy Honor System - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share December 17, 2018's comic on:


Tags #candy, #irritation, #office workers, #steal, #stealing food, #office, #trust

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Carol: I put a candy bowl on my desk, and someone stole the entire bowl within five minutes. I'm old enough to remember when the honor system meant something. What happened to trust? Boss: Maybe the candy wasn't as good back then.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share November 18, 2018's comic on:


Tags #boss, #engineering, #frustration, #managers & supervisors, #office workers, #work, #schedule

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Dilbert: I finished coding the new feature. Boss: What took you so long? Dilbert: It took as long as it needed to take. Boss: You're behind schedule. Dilbert: I'm not the one who created the schedule! That was you!!! Maybe you should fire yourself for being so bad at making schedules. Boss: That's not how it works! Dilbert: What does that even mean? Boss: They're starting to catch on that most of what I say doesn't mean anything.

Complaining About Ted

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Complaining About Ted - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share November 14, 2018's comic on:


Tags #complaining, #computer software, #engineering, #office, #office workers

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Dilbert: I took over Ted's software project. Everything he did was inefficient and stupid. Okay, we're done here. I'm checking you off my list. Alice: How many people are you complaining to? Dilbert: I trimmed the list to three hundred.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share November 11, 2018's comic on:


Tags #boss, #cost, #engineering, #managers & supervisors, #office workers, #ladder, #waste

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Boss: Do you know where I can find a ladder? Dilbert: I can help you with that, but it will come at a big cost. It took me all morning to finally get "in the zone" to figure out this bug. Your interruption will set me back to square one and cost an entire day of productivity. Meanwhile, the rest of the team can't do their work because they are waiting for me to fix this bug first. So yes, I can help you find a ladder. But it will cost the company about $12,000 in lost productivity. I hope you have a good reason to need a ladder. Boss: I do. Ten minutes earlier. Boss: I wonder what ceiling tiles feel like.

Dogbert The Sociopath

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Dogbert The Sociopath - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share October 13, 2018's comic on:


Tags #Dilbert, #Dogbert, #test, #sociopath, #question, #lost, #interest, #end, #conversation

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Dogbert: I took a test to find out if I'm a sociopath. I got every question right. Dilbert: And by "right," you mean...? Dogbert: I already lost interest in your end of the conversation.

Ted Dies From Chair

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Ted Dies From Chair - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share September 03, 2018's comic on:


Tags #Catbert, #the boss, #ted, #treadmill, #alice, #exercise ball, #kneeling chair, #ergonomics

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Catbert: Ted got thrown from his treadmill desk, bounced off of alice's exercise ball chair, and broke his neck on a kneeling chair. The cause of death is listed as, "good ergonomics." On the plus side, his posture was excellent.

Unmotivated Staff

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Unmotivated Staff - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share August 30, 2018's comic on:


Tags #Catbert, #the boss, #wrong, #leadership, #skills

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The Boss: A few months ago, I realized my staff was unmotivated and working on all the wrong things. It took all of my leadership skills to get them motivated again. Catbert: Are they still doing the wrong things? The Boss: Faster than ever.