Training Course Comic Strips

You can also use "quotes" and & to narrow down results.

253 Results for Training Course

View 1 - 10 results for training course comic strips. Discover the best "Training Course" comics from Dilbert.com.

Dogbert Teaches Safety

Thank you for voting.
 Dogbert Teaches Safety - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share June 18, 2020's comic on:


Tags #office workers, #safety, #training, #simple, #corporate

View Transcript

Transcript

Dogbert: Welcome to Dogbert's corporate safety training. Don't touch anything, don't move around, and don't talk to anyone, ever! Thanks for coming. Dilbert: That's the whole class? Dogbert: Don't blame me for being good at summarizing.

Sarcastic About Safety

Thank you for voting.
Sarcastic About Safety  - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share June 17, 2020's comic on:


Tags #boss, #education, #office workers, #safety, #sarcasm, #training

View Transcript

Transcript

Boss: I hear you were being sarcastic about safety. Obviously, you don't take safety seriously, so I have to send you to a safety re-education camp for a week. Dilbert: That will totally fix this problem. Boss: You just bought yourself an extra week.

Knowing What Wally Does

Thank you for voting.
Knowing What Wally Does - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share February 02, 2020's comic on:


Tags #business, #managers & supervisors, #performance, #review, #job, #projects, #expectations, #heuristics

View Transcript

Transcript

boss: i can't give you a good performance review because you haven't performed up to expectations. wally: do you even know what my job is? boss: of course i do. you're an engineer. wally: yes, but do you know what projects i'm working on? boss: well, various things, and some miscellaneous things too. wally: how can you determine my job performance when you don't know what my job is? boss: have you heard of heuristics? you're bad at everything i've observed, so i assume you are bad at everything else as well. wally: you should have started with that.

Mind Reader

Thank you for voting.
Mind Reader - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share January 27, 2020's comic on:


Tags #business, #plan, #sabotage, #mind reader, #success, #apology

View Transcript

Transcript

dilbert: i don't think your plan will work. employee: pffft. of course you don't. you are trying to sabotage me because you are jealous of my success. dilbert: you read minds as well as you make plans. employee: apology accepted.

Buzzflawed Interview

Thank you for voting.
Buzzflawed Interview - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share January 26, 2020's comic on:


Tags #managment, #business, #reporter, #cheat, #suppliers, #question

View Transcript

Transcript

carol: a reporter for buzz flawed wants to interview you. boss: i don't see any downside to that! reporter: my first question is, do you still cheat all of your suppliers? boss: no! of course not. reporter: so. you're admitting you cheated your suppliers in the past? boss: get out of my office, you evil monster! reporter: okay, i got what i needed. one week later: voice from boss's smartphone: "the pudgy miscreant could not hide his glee when bragging about cheating his suppliers."

Poison Pill

Thank you for voting.
Poison Pill - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share January 18, 2020's comic on:


Tags #co-worker, #cross-train, #business, #relationship, #training, #bad, #fire, #poison pill, #planner

View Transcript

Transcript

dilbert: i can't shake the feeling that you are intentionally doing a bad job training me how to do your job functions. ted: i'm omitting important steps, so you'll fail hard should i get fired and you are asked to fill in. it's called a "poison pill." dilbert: you're a good planner.

Cross Training

Thank you for voting.
Cross Training - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share January 17, 2020's comic on:


Tags #co-workers, #business, #cross train, #fire, #job, #dumb, #manager

View Transcript

Transcript

dilbert: our pointy-haired boss told me to ask you to cross-train me on your job junctions. ted: that sounds exactly like he plans to fire me as soon as you can do my job. dilbert: in my defense, he assured me you would be too dumb to realize that.

Denying Science

Thank you for voting.
Denying Science - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share December 14, 2019's comic on:


Tags #business, #technology, #medical, #antidepressants, #product, #science

View Transcript

Transcript

dogbert's tech support dogbert: i recommend taking powerful antidepressants. it won't make our product any easier to use, but maybe you won't care as much. of course it will work. sheesh! - deny science much?

Workflow Training

Thank you for voting.
Workflow Training - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share November 12, 2019's comic on:


Tags #business, #managers & supervisors, #office workers, #system, #technology, #training, #new

View Transcript

Transcript

boss: has everyone taken the new workflow system training? alice: yes, and we all concluded the new system is poorly designed and should be abandoned. boss: sounds like you need more training. alice: i meant to say we love the new system

Dogbert's Sensitivity Training

Thank you for voting.
Dogbert's Sensitivity Training - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share October 31, 2019's comic on:


Tags #business, #office workers, #class, #training, #sensitivity, #offend, #kill, #hour

View Transcript

Transcript

dogbert: welcome to dogcart's sensitivity training dogbert passing out papers: today you will learn how to never offend anyone ever again class including dilbert: are you going to kill us? dogbert: no, no, no. after an hour of this class, you'll want to do it yourself.