Treats You Like A Nut Comic Strips

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View 1 - 10 results for treats you like a nut comic strips. Discover the best "Treats You Like A Nut" comics from Dilbert.com.

Judging By Looks

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Judging By Looks - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share March 06, 2020's comic on:


Tags #business, #interview, #manager, #judge, #offensive, #social media, #nonesense

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boss: i'd like to offer you a job, but ten years ago you said something offensive on social media. interviewee: i'm not the same person i was ten years ago. you are judging me by the actions of someone who literally no longer exists. boss: i get your point, but if i go back to the old way of judging people by their looks, we still end up in the same place.

Ceo Is Like Normal People

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Ceo Is Like Normal People - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share February 27, 2020's comic on:


Tags #managers & supervisors, #business, #office environment, #cubicle, #work, #normal, #people, #respect, #stupid

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ceo: even though i am you ceo, i work out of a cubicle just like normal people. you probably respect that. alice: no, it sounds stupid. ceo: then why am i torturing myself in that putrid cubicle? alice: see prior answer.

Pragmatist

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Pragmatist - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share February 25, 2020's comic on:


Tags #business, #plans, #office workers, #stupid, #pragmatist, #practical, #implement, #technology

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asok: i'm a pragmatist. i like plans that are practical. wally: not me. i like plans that can't be implemented. way less work. asok: my way sounds stupid now.

Alice And Blockchain

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 Alice And Blockchain - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share February 19, 2020's comic on:


Tags #business, #technology, #project, #learn, #skills

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alice: i'd like to help on the blockchain project to build my skills in that area. boss: i don't like it when people learn new things. alice: i don't know what to say to that. boss: oh, good. it worked.

Finding Qualified Engineers

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Finding Qualified Engineers - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share February 16, 2020's comic on:


Tags #business, #interview, #questions, #job market, #engineers, #baker, #mortuary, #assistant

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interview boss: it's hard to find qualified engineers in this job market, so i'm casting a wider net. it says here you have experience as a mortuary assistant and baker. that's not exactly like being an engineer, but i want to stay open-minded. tell me about a time you had to deal with failure and what you did about it. interviewee: well, one time i totally botched an embalming. so i used a chainsaw to reduce the corpse to flushable parts. i told the family he came back to life and ran away. boss: okay. and why did you become a baker? interviewee: so i cold eat my mistakes.

Before Or After Firing

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Before Or After Firing - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share February 15, 2020's comic on:


Tags #business, #managers & supervisors, #prototype, #request, #fire

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dilbert: we destroyed all of the prototypes you requested. boss: i never asked for anything remotely like that. dilbert: ted said you did. boss: did he tell you that before or after i fired him last week?

Bias For Action

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Bias For Action - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share February 14, 2020's comic on:


Tags #managers & supervisors, #sarcasm, #co-workers, #business, #meeting, #prototype, #bias

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Co-workers around meeting table. Ted: our pointy-haired boss told us to scrap our prototype and start over from scratch. dilbert: o was in that meeting and he said nothing like that. maybe we should verify what he wants. ted: or... we could have a bias for action!

Looks Like A Duck

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Looks Like A Duck - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share January 24, 2020's comic on:


Tags #business, #managers & supervisors, #sarcasm, #sayings, #duck, #update

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ceo: if it looks like a duck, walks like a duck, and quacks like a duck, it's... dilbert: a deep fake? ceo: i was going to say duck. dilbert: you might want to update your folksy sayings every century or two.

Startup Makes Drones With Guns

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Startup Makes Drones With Guns - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share January 20, 2020's comic on:


Tags #business, #danger, #military, #neighbor, #sarcasm, #technology, #drones, #machine guns

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boss: we bought a start-up that makes autonomous drones armed with machine guns. dilbert: for use by the military? boss: good idea. i hadn't thought of that. it's too dangerous for private use. dilbert: you sound just like my neighbor when he still had a gazebo.

Cross Training

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Cross Training - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share January 17, 2020's comic on:


Tags #co-workers, #business, #cross train, #fire, #job, #dumb, #manager

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dilbert: our pointy-haired boss told me to ask you to cross-train me on your job junctions. ted: that sounds exactly like he plans to fire me as soon as you can do my job. dilbert: in my defense, he assured me you would be too dumb to realize that.