Tried Comic Strips
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View 1 - 10 results for tried comic strips. Discover the best "Tried" comics from Dilbert.com.
dilbert on zoom call with boss. boss: we're having another zoom meeting at 4 p.m. dilbert: what's the topic? boss: its about how i fill the deep emptiness of my soul by scheduling zoom meetings. dilbert: have you tried overeating? that seems to work for me.
internal auditor: i find it hard to believe you "accidentally" deleted a database just as i arrived. it makes me suspect you tried to hide something incriminating. boss: sounds like reasonable doubt to me.
catbert to boss: you've tried rewarding good performance and punishing bad. but have you tried tricking employees into working hard? boss: no, can you teach me? catbert to asok: remember, hard work is its own reward. asok: is it?
ceo: the government is threatening to regulate us like a monopoly. boss: are we not a monopoly? ceo: we are simply a company that makes an essential product for modern life, and we have no real competition. boss: that sounds like a monopoly. ceo: no, we are not because other companies could compete with us if they wanted. boss: and of they tried? ceo: as soon as they got some traction we'd buy them and shut them down. dilbert: so... they would fail every time. ceo: but they could try.
boss: can you believe a vendor tried to come in here with no face mask? i told him it didn't matter what kind of face covering he used, it only mattered that he had one. this is where my tale takes a dark turn. now peeved, the vendor stormed back to his car, where he had a bagged lunch. he angrily removed the plastic wrap from his sandwich and wrapped it around his head to serve as his face mask. he suffocated in minutes obviously. dilbert: is that the sandwich? boss: would have gone to waste.
Wally putting on jacket: I'm taking the rest of the day off to recover from trauma. i accidentally saw a video clip from tv news. boss: can't you block that? wally: i tried, but they keep finding ways to sneak it past my defenses.
dilbert wearing face mask: i ran the numbers, and your plan does not work under any reasonable set of assumptions. boss wearing face mask: have you tried "unreasonable assumptions?" dilbert: why would i do that? boss: well, to keep your job, for example.
boss and wally wearing face masks. boss: why should we do what you are suggesting when literally no one has ever tried it before? wally: because everything good and amazing had to be done by someone for the first time. boss: will this be good and amazing? wally: let's keep this on the concept level.
asok: have you ever tried meditating? wally: sounds like a lot of work. asok: it is the opposite of work. all you have to do is sit in one place and think of nothing in particular. wally: can i drink coffee at the same time. asok: that is not recommended. wally: in other words, meditating is what i already do, but without the advantage of coffee? asok: perhaps you have already achieved enlightenment. wally: feels that way to me.
dogbert's tech support dogbert: yes, we know the user manual refers to the wrong product. just use your common sense to figure out what the manual should have said. voice from phone: i tried the, but it didn't work. dogbert: i can't fix your common sense!