Trust And Respect Comic Strips

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149 Results for Trust And Respect

View 1 - 10 results for trust and respect comic strips. Discover the best "Trust And Respect" comics from Dilbert.com.

Trust Coworkers

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Dogbert In The Cloud

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Dogbert In The Cloud   - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #business, #managers & supervisors, #personal, #information, #cloud, #safe, #worry, #trust, #manage, #system, #browser, #history

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boss: i'm concerned that storing my personal information in the cloud is not safe. dilbert: don't be such a worrier. i'm sure we can trust the people who manage those systems to keep us safe. somewhere in the cloud dogbert: hee-hee! look at the browser history on this bunion-having loser.

Ceo Is Like Normal People

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Ceo Is Like Normal People - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #managers & supervisors, #business, #office environment, #cubicle, #work, #normal, #people, #respect, #stupid

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ceo: even though i am you ceo, i work out of a cubicle just like normal people. you probably respect that. alice: no, it sounds stupid. ceo: then why am i torturing myself in that putrid cubicle? alice: see prior answer.

Ceo In Cubicle

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Ceo In Cubicle - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #managers & supervisors, #business, #private, #office, #cubicle, #common, #work, #employees

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eco: i've decided to give up my private office and work from a cubicle so employees will respect me more. my cubicle will be 1,000 square feet, with a ceiling. dilbert: that's called an office. eco: nothing pleases you common folk.

Practice Makes Perfect

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Practice Makes Perfect - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #managers & supervisors, #practice, #estimate, #errors, #business, #incorrect

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boss: how can i trust your estimate when you have been wrong every other time? wally: practice makes perfect boss: um... boss thinking: i just realized i don't know how anything works.

Dilbert Is No Longer His Name

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Dilbert Is No Longer His Name - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #boss, #gender, #managers & supervisors, #men and women, #office workers, #respect, #salary

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Dilbert: My name used to be Dilbert, but my boss ordered me to identify as a woman. That way he can claim he pays men and women the same. Woman: I just lost all respect for your company. Dilbert: That was going to happen either way.

Skipping Teambuilding

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Skipping Teambuilding - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #boss, #celebration, #irritation, #managers & supervisors, #office workers, #parties, #sarcasm, #team

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Alice: Can I skip the team-building celebration to get some work done? Boss: No, because I'm trying to change the culture. Alice: To what? Angry and unproductive? Boss: Trust the cake.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #business, #office, #office workers, #relationships, #sarcasm

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tina: i don't appreciate the sarcastic text message you sent me. dilbert: that wasn't sarcastic. tina: yes, it was. dilbert: wouldn't i be a better authority than you about my own intentions? tina: only if i could trust you. but i can't trust you. dilbert: give me one good reason why you shouldn't trust me. tina: because you send sarcastic text messages. dilbert: um... tina: and here comes the mansplaining.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #computer software, #computers, #intelligence, #technology, #trick, #humans

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Dilbert: I created a simulated world made entirely of software. I programmed all of the people in the simulation to think they are real people with free will. Dogbert: Are they sentient beings? Dilbert: They think they are. Dogbert: What if they discover their true nature? Dilbert: I programmed limits into their physics so they can never observe the walls of their reality. For example, they can't get to the edge of their universe because they can't exceed the speed of light. And they can't find out what they are made of because, to them, it looks like probability at the quantum level. Dogbert: Wouldn't those limits tip of the smart ones? Dilbert: I coded them to not trust smart people.

The Candy Honor System

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The Candy Honor System - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #candy, #irritation, #office workers, #steal, #stealing food, #office, #trust

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Carol: I put a candy bowl on my desk, and someone stole the entire bowl within five minutes. I'm old enough to remember when the honor system meant something. What happened to trust? Boss: Maybe the candy wasn't as good back then.