Try Door Comic Strips

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629 Results for Try Door

View 1 - 10 results for try door comic strips. Discover the best "Try Door" comics from Dilbert.com.

Measuring Excellence

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Measuring Excellence - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share July 03, 2019's comic on:


Tags #business, #office, #excellence

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dilbert, the boss and wally at conference room table. the boss: we opened our first "center of excellence" today. the boss: at the risk of sounding too optimistic, we should be brimming with excellence by nightfall. dilbert: how will we know if is working? the boss: it's better if we don't try too hard to measure it.

Why Are Other Companies Not Doing It

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Why Are Other Companies Not Doing It - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share June 13, 2019's comic on:


Tags #business, #managers & supervisors, #office, #company, #variables

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the boss to dilbert: if your idea is so good, why aren't other companies doing it? dilbert: because they are in completely different businesses with completely different variables and they don't have a genius like me working for them. the boss: what happens if we try your idea but we do it wrong? dilbert: that's called "business as usual."

Leadership And Guessing

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Leadership And Guessing - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share June 11, 2019's comic on:


Tags #business, #coffee, #managers & supervisors, #office

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alice to the boss: one option is to use the old method that has never once worked, but we think we know how to make it work next time. alice: the other option is to try something new that we can't be sure will work. alice: it's almost as if leadership is nothing but guessing. the boss drinking coffee: let's change the subject.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share June 02, 2019's comic on:


Tags #business, #office, #office workers, #strategy, #variables, #forecast

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dilbert: my profit forecast isn't aligning with our strategy the boss: try adding some variables. dilbert: what kind of variables? the boss: the kind that make our strategy line up with our profit forecasts. dilbert: but...then my forecast would not be accurate. the boss: it's already inaccurate because no one can forecast complicated things five years ahead. the boss: if we can't be accurate, we might as well be wrong in a way that is good for us in the near term. dilbert: you make a surprisingly robust argument for evil. the boss: and i was barely trying!

Winners Never Quit

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Winners Never Quit - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share June 01, 2019's comic on:


Tags #business, #office, #office workers, #sarcasm, #inspirational quotes

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the boss: i'm not having much luck with my inspirational quotes, but i thought i would try one more time. the boss: "winners never quit, and quitters never win." dilbert: when ted quit, you gave him a raise to stay. the boss: these work better when you don't think about them.

Wally Answers Phone In Bathroom

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Wally Answers Phone In Bathroom - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share May 02, 2019's comic on:


Tags #business, #office, #office workers, #mobile phone

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carol: every time i try to call your mobile phone, you don't answer. wally: i only answer my phone when i'm in the bathroom. carol: i will never call you again. wally: it's time for office hours.

Objective Reality

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Objective Reality - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share April 26, 2019's comic on:


Tags #business, #office, #office workers, #mit, #deliverables

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the boss: wally, can you explain why your deliverables are late? wally: an experiment at kit suggests there is no objective reality, so maybe i wasn't late. the boss: i don't know how to respond to that. wally: try smiling and nodding. maybe toss in an "oh."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share March 31, 2019's comic on:


Tags #conversation, #Food, #friends, #office, #office workers

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Man: I'm a foodie. Are you foodie too? Dilbert: I think of food as fuel. Man: But you enjoy eating good food, right? Dilbert: I try to avoid food that tastes good. That way, I won't overeat. I usually just check my plate for any stray bandages, and that's about it. If my food passes that test, I shovel it toward my mouth while reading stuff on my phone. Man: I don't think I can be your friend. Dilbert: That worked out better than I hoped.

Birds Cause Hurricanes

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Birds Cause Hurricanes - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share March 20, 2019's comic on:


Tags #boss, #ceo, #research, #nonsense, #hurricans, #birds, #noted, #polar bears, #hate, #snow

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CEO: I don't know enough about climate change to sound smart when people talk about it. Boss: Try doing your own research. That's how I learned that hurricanes are caused by birds. CEO: Write that down for me. Boss: And did you know polar bear hate snow?

Hiring Unethical Scientist

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Hiring Unethical Scientist - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share March 14, 2019's comic on:


Tags #suspicious, #boss, #lawyer, #help, #search, #straightforward, #scientist, #bidding, #money

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Boss: We're looking for a scientist who can be easily influenced by money to back our product claims. Lawyer: I'm perfect for that job. I have no ethnical boundaries whatsoever. Boss: But you won't try to con us, right? Lawyer: You can't have it both ways.