Trying To Accomplish Comic Strips

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273 Results for Trying To Accomplish

View 1 - 10 results for trying to accomplish comic strips. Discover the best "Trying To Accomplish" comics from Dilbert.com.

Compilation Video

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Compilation Video  - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share March 07, 2020's comic on:


Tags #business, #managers & supervisors, #useful, #video, #co-workers, #incompetent, #comparision, #meeting, #compile

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wally: you think i didn't do anything useful this year. so i made a compilation video of my co-workers being incompetent in meetings for comparison. boss: at least they are trying. wally: as you can see, maybe they shouldn't.

Mind Reader

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Mind Reader - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share January 27, 2020's comic on:


Tags #business, #plan, #sabotage, #mind reader, #success, #apology

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dilbert: i don't think your plan will work. employee: pffft. of course you don't. you are trying to sabotage me because you are jealous of my success. dilbert: you read minds as well as you make plans. employee: apology accepted.

Wally Stopped Trying

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Wally Stopped Trying - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share January 04, 2020's comic on:


Tags #managers & supervisors, #useless, #trying, #incompetence, #co-workers, #pay, #work

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wally: this week i didn't do any work because there is no point in trying. in the unlikely event i did something useful, it would be ruined by the massive incompetence of my co-workers. boss: i pay you to act as if you are trying. wally: oh, in that case, i worked hard this week.

Technical Difficulties

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Technical Difficulties - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share December 17, 2019's comic on:


Tags #technical, #difficulties, #meeting, #business, #conference, #call, #audio, #technology

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boss: how'd your meeting go? dilbert: we spent an hour trying to get the conference call audio to work. boss: and then? dilbert: it was a one-hour meeting.

Consider Polyamory

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Consider Polyamory - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share December 07, 2019's comic on:


Tags #psychology, #relationships, #office work, #polyamory, #girl friend, #progress, #business

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alice: have you ever considered trying polyamory? instead of not having one girl-friend, you could not have two. dilbert: that would feel like progress. alice: you're welcome.

Not Humanly Possible

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Not Humanly Possible - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share November 13, 2019's comic on:


Tags #managers & supervisors, #office workers, #budget, #workflow, #procedure, #impossible, #useful

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boss: i can't approve your budget because you didn't follow the seventeen-step workflow procedure. dilbert: it is not humanly possible to follow the company workflow procedure and also accomplish anything useful. boss: would it help if i add a few steps? dilbert: yes, if you have to go back to your office to do it.

Skipping Teambuilding

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Skipping Teambuilding - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share August 27, 2019's comic on:


Tags #boss, #celebration, #irritation, #managers & supervisors, #office workers, #parties, #sarcasm, #team

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Alice: Can I skip the team-building celebration to get some work done? Boss: No, because I'm trying to change the culture. Alice: To what? Angry and unproductive? Boss: Trust the cake.

App For Random Praise

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App For Random Praise - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share June 18, 2019's comic on:


Tags #business, #cell phone, #criticism, #office, #praise

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the boss: i've stopped trying to understand what you do all day long. the boss: now i use an app that reminds me at random times to praise you or to criticize you. alice: that is the dumbest thing you have ever done. the bosses cell phone: ping! the boss: keep up the good work!

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share June 02, 2019's comic on:


Tags #business, #office, #office workers, #strategy, #variables, #forecast

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dilbert: my profit forecast isn't aligning with our strategy the boss: try adding some variables. dilbert: what kind of variables? the boss: the kind that make our strategy line up with our profit forecasts. dilbert: but...then my forecast would not be accurate. the boss: it's already inaccurate because no one can forecast complicated things five years ahead. the boss: if we can't be accurate, we might as well be wrong in a way that is good for us in the near term. dilbert: you make a surprisingly robust argument for evil. the boss: and i was barely trying!

Bad Planning

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Bad Planning - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share May 10, 2019's comic on:


Tags #business, #office, #office workers, #teamwork, #team, #deadline

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ted: i need your help on my project today, or i'll miss my deadline. dilbert: are you trying to turn your lack of planning into my problem? ted: i was hoping you would be a team player. dilbert: i'm holding out for an offer from a better team.