Search Results for "tunnel digging"

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share December 25, 2016's comic on:


Tags #jargon, #speech, #words, #nonsense, #training, #trainee, #strategy, #laziness

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Boss: Wally, I want you to train our new hire. Wally: The first thing you need to know is that we never use the DPX system when the MGB is down. Man: The... what and the what? Wally: Hold your questions till the end. You can use our PX4 to tunnel into the B9 data and produce at TMNP report. But you'll need authorization from the LDG and the MICOO. Man: I don't understand any of that! Wally: I toldy you to hold your questions until the end. Always remember to jost the primpram whenever the gip is fleeming toward kilp. Man: Maybe I should ask someone else to train me. Wally: Now we're making progress.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share September 11, 2013's comic on:


Tags #deception, #prison (jail), #governments data, #hidden tunnel, #elbonian embassy

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NSA Agent: Maybe a few days in solitary will make you tell us how you stole the government's data. Dilbert: Is this the cell with the hidden tunnel? NSA Agent: The what? Dilbert: I'll be at the Elbonian embassy.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share March 18, 2013's comic on:


Tags #secreatry, #booked flight, #smog, #hardened, #machete, #hack tunnel, #asthma attack, #treatment

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Carol: I booked you flight to the polluted capital of Albania. Their smog has hardened into a sold. use this machete to hack a tunnel through it. If you have an asthma attack the treatment is the same as for a sea urchin sting. YOu'll need to urinate on your lungs.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share February 19, 2013's comic on:


Tags #ignorance (knowledge), #joking, #new software, #interrupt you, #carpal tunnel, #replace humans

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Boss: The new software will interrupt you every five minutes so you don't get carpal tunnel. Dilbert: Aren't you worried the software will replace you? hee-hee! Boss: I don't get that. Dilbert: That's why it's funny.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share January 20, 2006's comic on:


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Dogbert's Tech Support "Before I can help you, I need your tech support product identification code." "You can find it by going to your local landfill and digging until you see your product's original packaging." "But don't disturb the seagulls or they'll peck off your face."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share June 03, 2004's comic on:


Tags #lunch, #wine, #Dilbert, #talk about people, #fertilair, #digging dirt, #intern drunk, #taking notes

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"Asok, let's go to lunch. I'll buy." "Really?" "We'll have some wine, maybe talk about people that we both know." "Fun!" "And what does Dilbert call me?" "The fertiliar! Ha ha!"

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share October 18, 2003's comic on:


Tags #tunnel digging, #prototype, #escaped the lab, #perth australia, #combined enity, #cyborg, #popular, #trick with dirt

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Dilbert: "My tunnel-digging prototype escape the lab and burrowed into a picknicker in Perth, Australia." "The combined entity is a cyborg that has proven to be surprisingly popular at parties." "Ha ha! Do the trick with the dirt!"

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share October 17, 2003's comic on:


Tags #tunnel shark, #dig forever, #red button, #don't push button

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Dilbert: I call it the "Tunnel SHrk" It converts dirt and rock into energy and can dig forever. So whatever you do, don't ignore what Im saying and push the red button. The Boss: Button! Now whats gotten into you?

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share October 16, 2003's comic on:


Tags #egos, #europe to denver, #lies, #made up, #management retreat, #middle management, #press release, #top

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Dilbert: I can't imagine you told everyone at the management retreat.... But our marketing department issued press release sago were designing a tunnel linking Europe to Denver. FLASHBACK Man: Im installing a new sprinkler system in my lawn. The boss: Must top.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share July 15, 2003's comic on:


Tags #writing email, #12 page description, #carpal tunnel issue, #do work, #self inflicted, #chapter, #email

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Tina is sitting at her computer. Dilbert approaches and asks, "Tina, would you...?" Tina interrupts him, "Hold on while I finish writing this e-mail." Tina says, "It's a twelve-page description of my carpal tunnel issue, and the fact that there's never enough time to do my work." Dilbert asks, "Are all of your problems self-inflicted?" Tina responds, "That's it! I'm adding a chapter about you. Ouch, ouch, ouch, ouch!"