Twenty Year Car Lease Comic Strips
539 Results for Twenty Year Car Lease
View 1 - 10 results for twenty year car lease comic strips. Discover the best "Twenty Year Car Lease" comics from Dilbert.com.
Share August 09, 2020's comic on:
boss: can you believe a vendor tried to come in here with no face mask? i told him it didn't matter what kind of face covering he used, it only mattered that he had one. this is where my tale takes a dark turn. now peeved, the vendor stormed back to his car, where he had a bagged lunch. he angrily removed the plastic wrap from his sandwich and wrapped it around his head to serve as his face mask. he suffocated in minutes obviously. dilbert: is that the sandwich? boss: would have gone to waste.
Share June 07, 2020's comic on:
dilbert: i wrote a software patch that will save three million dollars per year. i feel as if i deserve a bonus or a raise. boss: when did you do it? dilbert: this week. boss: how long did we have the problem? dilbert: five years. boss: then you should have fixed it five years ago. looks like a gigantic failure to me. you should be ashamed of yourself. in another room catbert: did you try my strategy for keeping payroll expenses low? boss: works like magic.
Share April 02, 2020's comic on:
dilbert thinking: i accomplished fifteen tasks on my to-do list today. that leaves only seven hundred tasks, not counting the twenty-three i added today. dilbert to dogbert: i wonder what winning feels like. dogbert: it's great.
Share March 07, 2020's comic on:
wally: you think i didn't do anything useful this year. so i made a compilation video of my co-workers being incompetent in meetings for comparison. boss: at least they are trying. wally: as you can see, maybe they shouldn't.
Share March 05, 2020's comic on:
Share January 15, 2020's comic on:
boss: our internal audit found that you violated over four hundred company rules in the past year. dilbert: i'm also the only employee who accomplished anything last year. now connect the dots. boss: so you're saying we need more rules.
Share December 27, 2019's comic on:
boss: i'm proud to announce that we've been named "employer of the year." dilbert: how much did that cost? boss: nothing! all we had to do was buy a million dollars' worth of ads. dilbert: did we need those ads? boss: you won't win any awards with that attitude.
Share November 29, 2019's comic on:
dilbert thinking: looks like it will be another full day of interacting with people i wouldn't pull out of a burning car even if i were made of asbestos. my only hope is to stay busy doing mindless tasks. dilbert: do you have any mindless tasks for me? boss: take one from the top of the pile.
Share November 26, 2019's comic on:
wally: how did your conference call go? dilbert: normal. it took us twenty minutes to get everyone connected, followed by forty minutes of garbled speech that no one understood. the meeting ended when everyone got tired of pretending something useful was happening. wally: i didn't really care.
Share October 13, 2019's comic on:
Boss: I can't give you a bonus this year because we paid too much to buy another company. Dilbert: Are you saying my efforts and my rewards are no longer linked? Boss: Noooo. I'm not saying anything like that. I'm just saying your compensation isn't influenced by your performance. Dilbert: That's the same thing! Boss: Teamwork means we all share the rewards and we all have to share the pain. Dilbert: Does that mean management won't be getting bonuses either? Boss: Now you've made it awkward.