Two Days Staright Comic Strips

You can also use "quotes" and & to narrow down results.

726 Results for Two Days Staright

View 1 - 10 results for two days staright comic strips. Discover the best "Two Days Staright" comics from Dilbert.com.

Sunday Data Looks Two Ways

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Sunday Data Looks Two Ways - Dilbert by Scott Adams
View more books now

Dilbert Has Vacation Days

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Dilbert Has Vacation Days - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Too Busy To Train

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Too Busy To Train - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags business, jobs, managers & supervisors, two, replacement, quit, death, stare, new, person, sarcasm

View Transcript

Transcript

dilbert: i'm working two jobs since ted quit. maybe you could fire a replacement for ted. boss: that won't work because you're too busy to train a new person. panel changes building. voice from building: stop making that death stare and get back to your two jobs.

Nominate A Coworker

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Nominate A Coworker - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags business, months, recommendations, co-workers, office workers, recognize, superior, work, nominated, honest, idea, coffee

View Transcript

Transcript

boss: two months ago, i asked you all for recommendations on co-workers who should be recognized for superior work. on day one, you all nominated yourselves. since then it has been quiet. dilbert: if i'm being honest, it wasn't one of your brightest ideas.

Wally Works At Home Unsafely

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Wally Works At Home Unsafely - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags business, technology, warning, unsafe, workplace, work at home, remote, live, judging, personality, toxic, dump, lazy, clean, lucky, guess, neighbors, curtains, laptop

View Transcript

Transcript

wally on video call with catbert: catbert: i'm issuing you a warning for your unsafe workplace. wally: i work from home. you've never seen where i live. catbert: i'm judging by your personality. you're too lazy to clean anything up, so by now it's a toxic dump. wally: that's a lucky guess. catbert: and you're too lazy to close your curtains, so by now your neighbors want to murder you. wally: that's two lucky guesses.

Pandemic In Year Two

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Pandemic In Year Two - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags business, tired, face, familiar, exhausting, sorry, pandemic, coffee

View Transcript

Transcript

dogbert: i am so tired of looking at your face. i mean seriously, it's exhausting. pandemic year 2 dilbert: sorry. dogbert: well, you should be.

Pandemic Vacation Days

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Pandemic Vacation Days - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags business, sarcasm, technology, company policy, video conference, vacation day, vacation, company rule, pandemic, go, solve, problem, laptop

View Transcript

Transcript

boss and dilbert on video conference call. boss: human resources is on my back to make sure everyone uses their vacation days this year. it's a company rule. dilbert: what's the point of a vacation if we can't go anywhere because of the pandemic? boss: i'm only trying to solve my own problem here.

Simulation Nonsense

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Simulation Nonsense - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags business, computer, computer software, days, fast, nonsense, ruin, simulation, technology, upgrade, coffee

View Transcript

Transcript

tina: it feels as if the days are going by faster lately. dilbert: that's because we're a computer simulation that just got a software upgrade. tina: there's really nothing you can't ruin with that nonsense, is there? dilbert: i hear that a lot.

Vaccine

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Vaccine - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags business, business ethics, covid-19, sarcasm, vaccine, pharma, company, target, safety, efficacy

View Transcript

Transcript

boss: i'm happy to announce that our company has produced a vaccine for covid-19. dilbert: how did we do that? we're not even a pharma company. boss: i'm not going to lie. we had to cut some corners to get it done. dilbert: such as... boss: well, for example... we couldn't meet every single target we hoped to achieve. dilbert: how many targets did we miss? boss: only two things. dilbert: safety and efficacy? boss: okay, four things.

The Moron Option

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
The Moron Option - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags business, technology, corporate rule, vendor, accounts receivable, 30 days, pay, payment, exception, moron

View Transcript

Transcript

dilbert: our corporate rule is that we won't do business with any vendor who does not give us at least 30 days to pay. dilbert: but we can get the same product for half the price if we go with the vendor who wants payment immediately. should we make an obvious exception here or be morons? boss: i think you're under-valuing the moron options.