Two Week Notice Comic Strips

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View 1 - 10 results for two week notice comic strips. Discover the best "Two Week Notice" comics from Dilbert.com.

Lack Of Social Contact

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Lack Of Social Contact - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share July 04, 2020's comic on:


Tags #office workers, #pandemic, #technology, #social, #contact, #best, #week, #covid, #cope

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Wally and Dilbert at coffee pot wearing face masks. dilbert: how did you cope with the loss of social contact during the pandemic? wally: best weeks of my life. how about you? dilbert: i didn't want to be the first to say it.

Quarantine Before Date

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Quarantine Before Date  - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share July 03, 2020's comic on:


Tags #date, #desperation, #dinner, #office workers, #quarantine, #technology, #two weeks

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dilbert: would you like to go to dinner with me? women: only if you self-quarantine for two weeks first. dilbert: can do! women: well, it seems i underestimated your desperation.

Cooties Contact Tracing

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Cooties Contact Tracing - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share July 01, 2020's comic on:


Tags #2 weeks, #contact, #cooties, #doctor, #doctors' offices, #infect, #physical, #tracing, #Women, #zero

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doctor: we need to do contact tracing to determine who else you might have infected with cooties. how may women have you had physical contact with in the past two weeks? dilbert: i'd rather not say. doctor: i'll put you down for zero.

Two Bad Options

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Two Bad Options - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share June 21, 2020's comic on:


Tags #big business, #business, #business ethics, #business failures/bankruptcies, #hide, #managers & supervisors, #options, #analysis, #corporate

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Dilbert: I analyzed our only two options. One option costs too much, and the other option is impossible. Boss: Let's do the impossible one. Dilbert: Perhaps you can explain your reasoning. Boss: According to you, we will fail either way. But if we fail in a slow and inexpensive way, no one will even notice for months. With any luck, we'll have a corporate reorganization that forever hides our gross incompetence. Dilbert: Have you done this before? Boss: Every six months.

Sarcastic About Safety

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Sarcastic About Safety  - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share June 17, 2020's comic on:


Tags #boss, #education, #office workers, #safety, #sarcasm, #training

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Boss: I hear you were being sarcastic about safety. Obviously, you don't take safety seriously, so I have to send you to a safety re-education camp for a week. Dilbert: That will totally fix this problem. Boss: You just bought yourself an extra week.

Should Have Done It Sooner

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Should Have Done It Sooner - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share June 07, 2020's comic on:


Tags #business, #dollars, #failure, #managers & supervisors, #patch, #payroll, #problem, #raise, #savings, #software, #technology, #years

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dilbert: i wrote a software patch that will save three million dollars per year. i feel as if i deserve a bonus or a raise. boss: when did you do it? dilbert: this week. boss: how long did we have the problem? dilbert: five years. boss: then you should have fixed it five years ago. looks like a gigantic failure to me. you should be ashamed of yourself. in another room catbert: did you try my strategy for keeping payroll expenses low? boss: works like magic.

Working At Home

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Working At Home - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share April 23, 2020's comic on:


Tags #accomplished, #business, #fort, #goof, #health, #home, #version, #working, #coronavirus

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day one of working from home dilbert thinking: i'm getting a lot done. day two of working from home dilbert thinking laying on the couch: if i goofed off a little, would anyone know? day three of working from home dogbert: lame fort. dilbert under fort made from couch cushions and blanket: it's version 1.0.

Great Job For Someone

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Great Job For Someone - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share April 18, 2020's comic on:


Tags #business, #office workers, #job, #opening, #private, #office, #opportunity, #background, #rid

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dilbert: i hear there's a great job opening in operations for someone with your background. big salary, private office. looks like a great opportunity for you. office worker: are you trying to get rid of me? dilbert: not in a way you are suppose to notice.

Mind Control

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Mind Control - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share April 08, 2020's comic on:


Tags #business, #Dogbert, #slump, #sales, #clone, #product, #shoddy, #mind, #control, #legal, #notice

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dogbert: my team of dogbert clones has reversed your slumping sales. your products are still shoddy, but we use mind control to make people not notice. it's all perfectly legal. boss: i wasn't going to ask.

Two Futures

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Two Futures - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share March 20, 2020's comic on:


Tags #psychology, #future, #brakes, #cliff, #die, #instant

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Dogbert The Futurist dogbert: i see two potential futures for you. in one future, your brakes fail and you drive off a cliff, dying instantly upon impact. office worker: and in the other future? dogbert: it's less instant.