Unspoken Rules Comic Strips

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52 Results for Unspoken Rules

View 1 - 10 results for unspoken rules comic strips. Discover the best "Unspoken Rules" comics from Dilbert.com.

Violating Rules

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Violating Rules - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share January 15, 2020's comic on:


Tags #managers & supervisors, #rules, #business, #audit, #employees, #company

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boss: our internal audit found that you violated over four hundred company rules in the past year. dilbert: i'm also the only employee who accomplished anything last year. now connect the dots. boss: so you're saying we need more rules.

Mind Reading

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Mind Reading - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share January 09, 2020's comic on:


Tags #business, #judge, #ruling, #gavel, #proof, #thoughts, #unfair, #mind, #reading

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court of stupidity judge with gavel: the court rules that dilbert should magically know what his boss wants at all times. dilbert: i'm not a mind-reader! judge: prove it! dilbert: how can i prove i can't read minds? judge: easy. tell me what i'm not thinking.

Court Of Stupidity

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Court Of Stupidity - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share January 07, 2020's comic on:


Tags #business, #legal, #court, #lawyer, #stupidity, #appeal, #bailiff

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dilbert at table with dogbert: my boss is accusing me o not knowing what he was thinking. i need you to be my lawyer and handle my appeal to the court of stupidity. court of stupidity the court rules in favor of the bailiff.

Incompetent Employees

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Incompetent Employees - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share January 03, 2020's comic on:


Tags #managers & supervisors, #sarcasm, #business, #bureaucratic, #employees, #incompetent, #inefficiency, #yin, #yang

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catbert: it might my imagination, but it looks as if all of our employees are incompetent. boss: we need to create a tangle of bureaucratic rules that make it impossible for them to get anything done. catbert: you want to use inefficiency to protect us against incompetence? boss: yin and yang.

Teambuilding Celebration

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Teambuilding Celebration - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share August 26, 2019's comic on:


Tags #celebration, #employees, #office workers, #parties, #rules

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Boss: Dilbert, I want you to plan the team-building celebration. Make sure there is no alcohol, no dancing, no touching, no flirting, and no joking around. Dilbert: Can we eat? Boss: Only food that has never been near a peanut.

Can't Succeed Within The Rules

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Can't Succeed Within The Rules - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share July 29, 2019's comic on:


Tags #business, #failure, #managers & supervisors, #rules, #success

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dilbert: if i follow all of our internal rules, my project will fail because of delays. and if i don't follow the rules, you will fire me. what should i do? boss: i like the option where the project is a success but you're a failure.

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share June 16, 2019's comic on:


Tags #business, #office, #rules, #quotes, #chaos, #purchasing

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purchasing manager: i can't approve this purchase without three vendor quotes. dilbert: only two companies in the world make this sort of product. purchasing manager: if i bend the rules for you, everyone will want me to bend the rules. dilbert: maybe you could only bend the rules when it makes complete sense to do so. purchasing manager: that would be chaos. Purchasing manager: everyone thinks they have a good reason to bend the rules. dilbert: is the real problem here that you were bullied in school, and you use this job for some sort of sick revenge. purchasing manager: now you need four vendor quotes.

Dating A Coworker

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Dating A Coworker - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share July 25, 2018's comic on:


Tags #dating, #relationships, #office policy, #rules, #human resources, #business

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Dilbert: Can I date a co-worker? Catbert: I doubt it. You're not attractive, funny, or rich. Dilbert: I mean, is it allowed under company rules? Catbert: We only have rules about things that might happen.

Team Building Dance

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Team Building Dance - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share April 05, 2018's comic on:


Tags #team-building, #dance, #rules, #restrictions, #Fun

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Boss: This year's team-building event will be a dance. No alcohol will be served. The event is for employees only, and you're not allowed to touch each other. Have a great time. Dilbert: How?

Ceo Gives Shoulder Rubs

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Ceo Gives Shoulder Rubs  - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share January 20, 2018's comic on:


Tags #flirting, #implementation, #new rules, #shoulder rub, #sock collar, #team spirit

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CEO: Hey, Alice. Let me give you a shoulder rub in the name of team spirit. CEO: AAAAGH!!! Alice: click CEO: I hate having a court - ordered shock collar. The boss: I don't see a...oh.