Untrained Eye Comic Strips

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72 Results for Untrained Eye

View 1 - 10 results for untrained eye comic strips. Discover the best "Untrained Eye" comics from Dilbert.com.

Golden Age For Wally

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Golden Age For Wally - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #6 feet, #avoid, #coffee, #eye contact, #face mask, #grocery shopping, #office workers, #social distancing, #upgrade, #Women

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wally at coffee pot talking to Dilbert:: social distancing has been a great upgrade to my life. in the old days, women avoided me by at least ten feet. now i often get within seven. i think it's because i'm better-looking with most of my face covered. especially if i wear a hat and sunglasses. and i learned that women will talk to me if i walk the wrong way down a grocery aisle. they're usually complaining but at least they make eye contact. it's sort of a golden age for people like me.

Elbonian Factory Problem

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Elbonian Factory Problem - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #business, #managers & supervisors, #report, #factory, #elbonia, #problem, #lost, #power, #main, #floor, #employees, #scared, #trip, #dark, #gas, #line, #accident, #crater, #capital, #explosion, #unsympathetic

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dilbert: we have some problems in our elbonian factory. boss: how bad? dilbert: they lost power on the main floor. boss: that's not so bad. dilbert: the employees were scared. boss: they'll get over it. dilbert: one of them tripped in the dark. boss: big deal. dilbert: he accidentally opened a gas line. boss: a little gas never hurt anyone. dilbert: now there's a crater where the capital city used to be. boss and dilbert just looking at each other boss: let's keep an eye on that.

Twitch Gets You More Work

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Twitch Gets You More Work - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #business, #communication, #office, #office workers, #project

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the boss: does anyone have an idea for fixing our communication problem with marketing? dilbert, alice, wally and asok thinking: must...not...speak or else he will assign the project to me. the boss: i saw your eye twitch. the project is all yours. alice: GAAAA!!! visually upset

Hiring A Millennial

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Hiring A Millennial - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #employees, #office workers, #sarcasm, #smartphone, #generation, #millennial

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Boss: I hired a millennial who was raised by smartphones. He won't make eye contact, and we don't expect him to ever mate. Dilbert: Can he speak? Boss: Yes, but only with sarcasm.

Best Places To Work

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Best Places To Work - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #employees, #employment, #irony, #lying, #managers & supervisors, #office

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Boss: We're trying to get on "best places to work" list. If you agree to lie on the survey, maybe we can attract some good employees to make this a best place to work. Dilbert: What? Boss: Keep your eye on the prize.

Don't Make Eye Contact With Ceo

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Don't Make Eye Contact With Ceo  - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #presentation, #public speaking, #nervous, #anxious, #fear

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Asok: I'm nervous because I need to make a presentation to our CEO. Do you have any advice? Wally: Don't make eye contact with him. He hates that. Asok: You have made things far worse! Wally: He also flies into a rage when he hears the word "the."

Looks Good But Won't Work

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Looks Good But Won't Work - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #ideas, #impracticality, #managers, #leadership, #threat

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Boss: The one they call Dilbert suggested we do something that looks good but won't work. CEO: Is this the first trace of management potential you've seen from him? Boss: You think it's a fluke? CEO: Let's keep an eye on it.

Bribing Wally

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Bribing Wally - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #bribe, #morals, #laziness, #work ethic

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Wally: I don't have time to help. Coworker: What if I bribe you to do your job? I am literally offering to give you my personal money to do the job your employer pays you to do. Wally: Are you willing to turn a blind eye to my total lack of effort, or should I find a better briber?

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #Advice, #workload, #stress, #counseling

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Dilbert: I have too much work, and it's stressing me out. Boss: I've been reading about this sort of situation. Try writing don all the things that make you feel grateful. Dilbert: That would be more work! Boss: For your anger issues, try keeping a journal of all the times you lose your temper. Dilbert: That would be more work! Has anyone ever taken your advice? Boss: Do you know the guy in Marketing with the eye patch? Dilbert: He followed your advice? Boss: Half of it.

Pregnant Fly

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Pregnant Fly - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #safety, #accident, #osha, #hazard, #work environment

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Ted: I was walking past the employee ping-pong table and took one in the eye. This is an unsafe work environment. Gaaa!!! A fly went up my nose! Catbert: It looked pregnant.