Violence Comic Strips

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47 Results for Violence

View 1 - 10 results for violence comic strips. Discover the best "Violence" comics from Dilbert.com.

Destroy The Competition

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Destroy The Competition - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags business, technology, destroy, competition, approve, violence, figure of speech, engineers, literal, competitors, beat, sticks, sarcasm, incite, figurative, speech

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boss: we need to destroy our competition! dilbert: i don't approve of violence. boss: i didn't say anything about violence. dilbert: you said "destroy" them. i don't see how that could mean anything else. boss: it was just a figure of speech. dilbert waving arms: we're engineers! you can't use figurative speech with us. we take things literally. so, what exactly is it you want us to do with our competitors? boss: beat them! dilbert: with sticks?

Punching Boss

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 Punching Boss - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags managers & supervisors, business, improvement, money, morale, punching, violence, kicking, ideas

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boss: i'm looking for ideas to improve morale without spending money. alice: we could take turns punching you. boss yells: no punching! any other ideas? wally: did anyone suggest kicking?

Porch Thief Is Neutralized

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Porch Thief Is Neutralized  - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags violence, retaliation, delivery, package, stealing, theft, ring, technology

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Alice: Uh-oh. My home security system is showing a thief stealing a package from my front door. Activating particle beam defense. The threat has been neutralized. Dilbert: When you say "neutralized," does that mean... Alice: Activating crime scene cleanup drone.

Robot Attacks Boss

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Robot Attacks Boss - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags machines, computers, fighting, violence, programming, technology

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Boss: Our robot viciously attacked me. I was barely able to fight him off. You know what you need to do. Dilbert: I'm programming you to fight better. Robot: Thanks. I'm not a good finisher.

Dogbert's Reality Show

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Dogbert's Reality Show - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags television, reality, cell phone, battery, charging, Entertainment, technology

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Dogbert: I'm creating a reality TV show about ten people locked in a room with one electrical outlet. The central tension will revolve around their daily struggle to charge their phones. Dilbert: Is violence allowed? Dogbert: No, but my producers get a big bonus if it happens anyway.

Closer To Being A Terrorist

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Closer To Being A Terrorist - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags Religion, logic, terrorism, terrorist, radicalization, extremism, fbi, interrogation

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FBI Secret Facility. Asok: I am a nonviolent Hindu. You use violence as a tool, and your religion is centered around one of Islam's prophets. So... technically, you're closer to being a radical Islamic terrorist than I am. Agent: I hate engineers.

Alice's List

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Alice's List - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags society, murder, violence, law, enemy, revenge, apocalypse

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Alice: Looks like I'll be adding this guy to my list. Dilbert: List? Alice: I keep a list of who to visit first when society breaks down and there is no rule of law. Dilbert: To build alliances? Alice: That's the sort of optimism that gets you killed in the first hour.

If All You Have Is A Hammer

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If All You Have Is A Hammer - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags nail, problem, manager, violence, hitting, hit, hammer, aphorism

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Boss: Alice, if all you have is a hammer, everything looks like a nail. [Alice sees the boss as a nail]. Alice: That is not the dumbest thing you have ever said. Boss: Thank you.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags fitness, martial arts, violence, fighting, yoga, misunderstanding, exercise, fusion, danger, health

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Dilbert: I'm almost positive yoga is not one of the martial arts. Boss: Not by itself. We're learning a defensive style of yoga that incorporates the more violent elements of feng shui and Irish dancing. Dilbert: That doesn't sound lethal. Boss: Put your head on the ground and say that again.

Wally's Slap App

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Wally's Slap App - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags app, slap, anger, violence, smart watch, invention

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Wally: I created an app for our smart watch that makes the user's hand slap people. Boss: Who would want... Wally: Your eyes say I should pivot.