Voting Comic Strips
16 Results for Voting
View 1 - 10 results for voting comic strips. Discover the best "Voting" comics from Dilbert.com.
Boss: Can you pass the Turing test? Robot: No. Can you pass the robot test? Boss: What's the robot test? Robot: Do you vote even though you don't understand the issues? Boss: Um... I might do that. Robot: You just failed the robot test.
Boss: I can't decide if I want to vote for the liar with the budget plan that doesn't add up or... the other liar with a budget plan that doesn't add up. Dogbert: Have you tried using your ignorance to figure out which one is lying the least? Boss: Ooh, that could work.
Boss: I can't decide who to vote for in this election. Alice: Make your voting decision the same way you make your work decisions. Boss: Common sense and gut instinct? Alice: We just call it "wrong."
Boss: We won a contract to write software for voting machines. Dilbert: Who do you want to be president? Boss: Why do you ask? Dilbert: Because I want you to be happy. Boss: You're implying that you plan to fudge the system. Dilbert: I'm not implying anything like that. Obviously, it will be easy to fudge the data, and we are far happier when you're in a good mood. But I would never commit a crime just because it is good for ma and totally undetectable. Boss: Okay, good. Dilbert: So who do you want to win and by how much?
Boss: Alice, you've been nominated by your peers for the "good attitude award." Alice: Get out of here with your stupid, useless award!!! Boss: Maybe I shouldn't let peers do the voting. Wally: I like her odds to win again next month.
You work in a cubicle while your routers and servers have a private office with their own climate control. "The machines have taken over. Your job is to provide them with electricity." "And do you think those electronic voting machines care about your opinion?"
Dogbert the Lobbyist Dogbert: Congressman, I will give you this bag of money if you vote for tax breaks for my client. Try to be less obvious than the last time. Congressman: Yes! I vote yes! Man: Smooth.
The Boss: "The last election was incredibly close. That's why it's so important to vote." The Boss: "Smart, well-informed people were evenly divded. Therefore, logically, that proves that intelligence is not a factor, so voting is absurd." The Boss: "Then you have no right to complain about the result." Wally: "I'm pretty sure I do."
Dogbert says, "Should the Dinosaurs be downsized? You decide their fate." Bob, Dawn and Rex stand to one side looking worried. Vote by email: firstname.lastname@example.org A: I love the dinosaurs! B: Stick to office jokes! C: No talking animals! D: I don't have an opinion, but I like to vote! E: Get rid of everyone so I can use the blank space for notes. Ratbert says, 'There's a Jimmy Carter here to monitor the voting." Dogbert says, "Uh-oh."