Wearing A Wire Comic Strips

You can also use "quotes" and & to narrow down results.

300 Results for Wearing A Wire

View 1 - 10 results for wearing a wire comic strips. Discover the best "Wearing A Wire" comics from Dilbert.com.

No Makeup On Zoom

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
No Makeup On Zoom - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #business, #sarcasm, #technology, #zoom, #call, #voice only, #makeup, #hermit, #fedex

View Transcript

Transcript

dilbert communicating with another person on cell phone. voice from phone: can we set up a zoom call later today? sound: tap tap tap i prefer a voice-only call because i'm not wearing makeup at home. how hideous do you look without makeup? i'm not sure, but fedex asked me to stop answering the door in person.

Boss Hires Stalker

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Boss Hires Stalker - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #business, #employees, #managers & supervisors, #technology, #working, #remote, #stalker, #window, #homes

View Transcript

Transcript

boss on video conference with dilbert and wally. boss: it's challenging to manage employees who are working remotely. dilbert sitting in arm chair listening boss: so i hired a stalker to look in the windows at your homes and tell me what he sees. he lasted on day. wally sitting in chair wearing shorts and no shirt: sorry. that's on me.

Boss Ear Piece

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Boss Ear Piece - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #answers, #blockchain, #business, #ear piece, #evil, #ignorance, #managers & supervisors, #smart, #technology

View Transcript

Transcript

boss: later i have a meeting about blockchain and i don't understand anything about it. i'll be wearing this earpiece, and i want you to feed me smart lines. dilbert at home talking to dogbert: do you want to do something evil? dogbert: say no more. give me that.

Lucky Profits

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Lucky Profits - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #bonus, #business, #compensation, #executive, #managers & supervisors, #pandemic, #sarcasm, #technology, #video conferencing, #zoom, #luck

View Transcript

Transcript

catbert to ceo: there's a problem with your executive compensation. the company made so much money during the pandemic, purely by luck, that your bonus would be ten million dollars. ceo: i earned it. catbert: you made zoom calls wearing only socks.

Reasonable Doubt

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Reasonable Doubt    - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #managers & supervisors, #office workers, #employees, #health, #leader, #coronavirus, #indoor, #face mask, #kill, #doubt, #sarcasm

View Transcript

Transcript

Carol: that stupid coronavirus is no match for a healthy, young leader such as yourself. freedom demands that you go to crowded indoor places without wearing your mask. boss: are you trying to kill me? carol: i'd say there's reasonable doubt.

Sarcasm Works Better

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Sarcasm Works Better  - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #argument, #technology, #business, #production, #productivity, #sarcasm

View Transcript

Transcript

dogbert wearing face mask: i stopped using good arguments because sarcasm works better. dilbert wearing face mask: that doesn't sound like a productive thing to do. dogbert: oooh, look who's an expert on productivity now.

We Have No Strategy

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
We Have No Strategy  - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #managers & supervisors, #business, #strategy, #meeting, #complain, #cheap, #jealous, #wisdom

View Transcript

Transcript

boss wearing face mask: i hired a guy to complain at every meeting by saying, "we have no strategy."mi got him cheap because that's all he does. dilbert wearing face mask: some would say we don't need him. boss: maybe they're jealous of his wisdom. office worker thinking: no strategy

Bad Judge Of Character

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Bad Judge Of Character  - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #business, #managers & supervisors, #bad, #judge, #character, #hire, #termite, #clothes, #disguise, #youtube, #makeup, #video

View Transcript

Transcript

boss wearing face mask: i'm starting to think i'm a bad judge of character. the last three people i hired turned out to be termite colonies in clothes. dilbert in face mask: how did they disguise the face part? boss: they learned from youtube makeup videos.

Deep Disrespect For Authority

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Deep Disrespect For Authority  - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #interview, #managers & supervisors, #question, #weakness, #disrespect, #authority, #surprise

View Transcript

Transcript

boss wearing face mask: what would you say are your weaknesses? office worker: i have a deep disrespect for authority. boss: but...you don't act on it, right? office worker: let's not take the surprise out of it.

Manage With Data

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Manage With Data - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #analysis, #business, #data, #face maks, #leadership, #manage, #managers & supervisors, #paralysis, #technology, #useable

View Transcript

Transcript

boss wearing face mask: we need to manage with data! dilbert wearing face mask: do we have any useful data? boss: not really. dilbert: so...actually we need to get data before we can use data. boss: we don't have time for your analysis paralysis! dilbert: i think you're taking both sides of the same argument. you insist on using data, but you don't want to wait for data. boss: it's called leadership. you wouldn't understand. dilbert: oh, i think i do. boss: stop being such a mask hole.