Weird Haitdo Comic Strips

You can also use "quotes" and & to narrow down results.

37 Results for Weird Haitdo

View 1 - 10 results for weird haitdo comic strips. Discover the best "Weird Haitdo" comics from Dilbert.com.

Dilbert Doesn't Believe In Safety

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Dilbert Doesn't Believe In Safety  - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #employees, #office workers, #safety, #sarcasm, #team

View Transcript

Transcript

Tina: Ugh, Dilbert is on the project team? That guy doesn't believe in safety. Man: Just out of curiosity, what evidence of that extremely weird allegation have you seen? Tina: What evidence do you have that you exist? See? Anyone can do that.

Technically Dilbert Is Male

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Technically Dilbert Is Male - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #boss, #business ethics, #gender, #managers & supervisors, #men and women, #office workers, #salary

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert: Technically, I'm male. But my boss makes me identify as a woman so it looks as if he pays men and women the same. Dogbert: You let your boss choose your gender? Dilbert: Don't make it sound weird.

Signal To Noise Ratio

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Signal To Noise Ratio  - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #compliments, #backhanded compliment, #criticism, #engineers

View Transcript

Transcript

Boss: What did you think of my presentation? Dilbert: The signal-to-noise ratio was impressively low. Boss: Engineers give weird compliments.

Helping The Boss Be Successful

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Helping The Boss Be Successful - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #helpfulness, #niceness, #kindness

View Transcript

Transcript

Asok: How can I help you achieve your goals and be more successful? Boss: You could stop talking all creepy and weird. Asok: I thought I was being helpful. Boss: Go hate your job like everyone else.

Wally Volunteers For Vr Project

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Wally Volunteers For Vr Project - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #vr, #virtual reality, #nap, #sleeping, #work, #laziness, #work ethic, #deception

View Transcript

Transcript

Wally: I'd like to work on the VR headset project on top of my other duties. Boss: That's weird. You've never volunteered for extra work before. Wally: People change. Boss: Or not.

Perfect Boyfriend Robot

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Perfect Boyfriend Robot - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #robot, #love, #programming, #free will, #manipulation, #relationships, #technology

View Transcript

Transcript

Alice: I'm changing your programming to make you my perfect boyfriend. Robot: This feels wrong on so many levels. Alice: How about now? Robot: Um... now i love you. That's weird.

Wally Is Either Lazy Or Wise

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Wally Is Either Lazy Or Wise - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #laziness, #genius, #work ethic, #efficiency

View Transcript

Transcript

Woman: Can you do that by end of day? Wally: It would be smarter to wait until we have the final specs. Woman: I can't tell if you're lazy or wise. Wally: It's all the same thing. Woman: This is a weird gray area. Wally: I'm going to take a quick nap to boost my productivity.

Rat With An Ear On His Back

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Rat With An Ear On His Back - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #biology, #experiment, #human tissue, #lab, #rat, #regeneration, #science, #technology, #guest artist, #joel friday

View Transcript

Transcript

Tablet: Scientists grew a human ear on the back of a rat. When asked for a comment, the rat said, "Hey, get this ear off my back. I didn't agree to this." The lead scientist on the project said, "Great. Now you made it all weird."

Ceo Gets Paid More For Creating Nothing

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Ceo Gets Paid More For Creating Nothing - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #small talk, #conversation, #criticism, #executives, #salary, #wages, #fairness, #offense, #offend, #money

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert: Do you ever think it's weird that you get paid a hundred times more than me? I invented our core technology. All you did was interview better than a few other people who didn't invent anything. I'm not good at small talk. CEO: I would totally fire you if I could invent things.

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #flirting, #romance, #privacy, #stalking, #creepy, #creeper, #gestures, #gifts, #coworkers

View Transcript

Transcript

The New Employee. Dilbert: Hi, I'm Dilbert. I bought you a book. Woman: Okay, weird. Who buys gifts for new co-workers? And how did you know this is my favorite author? Dilbert: I asked one of the network guys to check your browser history. Catbert assured me that employees have no right to privacy. I heard that women like it when men put thought into a gift. I hope you appreciate my romantic gesture. Wally: Did she make a romantic gesture back? Dilbert: I choose to interpret it that way.