What Would Dogbert Do? Comic Strips

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View 1 - 10 results for what would dogbert do? comic strips. Discover the best "What Would Dogbert Do?" comics from Dilbert.com.

Dilbert Makes A Friend

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Dilbert Makes A Friend - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #business, #office, #work, #news, #friend, #social media, #monster, #check, #fooled, #posts

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dilbert and dogbert at home. dilbert: good news. i made a friend at work. dogbert: have you checked his social media posts? dilbert yelling: he's a monster! dogbert: that's why we check.

Marrying An Elbonian

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Marrying An Elbonian  - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #business, #elbonia, #accusations, #marriage, #plan, #job, #name, #sarcasm, #bigot

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dilbert and dogbert on couch at home. dilbert: people at work accused me of being bigoted against elbonian men, so i'm marrying one to prove them wrong and keep my job. dogbert: what's his name? dilbert: i think it's something like gluppfril or breemf. dogbert: sounds like a solid plan.

Charles Barkley App

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Charles Barkley App - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #business, #technology, #work, #remote, #work from home, #app, #racism, #filter, #video call, #charles barkley, #like, #laptop

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dilbert: now that we all work remotely, i built an app to eliminate racism. it's a filter that turns every face on a video call into charles barkley. dogbert: i like him. dilbert: see?

Remote Workers Do Not Mate

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Remote Workers Do Not Mate - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #appearance, #dating, #love & dating, #walking, #outdoors, #dating app, #woman, #app, #reproduction, #inner qualities, #goodbye, #genes

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dilbert and dogbert walking outside. dogbert: they say most people meet their future mates at work. now that you are working from home, your odds of mating just turned negative. you could try using a dating app to find a woman, but then you'd need to rely on your looks. obviously, that's a dead end. your best chance of reproduction has always been to wear down a co-worker over several years. women need time to get over your appearance, and to appreciate your inner qualities. we should have a goodbye party for your genes. dilbert: maybe next time we could walk and not talk. dogbert: maybe.

Back Up

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Back Up - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #technology, #business, #wi-fi, #strong signal, #signal, #video, #cell phone, #weak

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dogbert: you have a weak video signal. can you go where the wi-fi is stronger? try backing up. back. farther. back. back. voice from cell phone: aaaiii!!! dogbert: perfect.

Zoom Could Have Been Worse

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Zoom Could Have Been Worse - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #business, #embarrassment, #technology, #video call, #zoom, #time, #waste, #meeting, #imbeciles, #mic

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dilbert with dogbert on video call. dilbert: what a waste of time this zoom meeting is. i hate dealing with imbeciles. voice from laptop: your mic is on. dogbert: could have been worse.

Pretending To Listen

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Pretending To Listen - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #business, #managers & supervisors, #technology, #laptop, #pretending, #listening, #camera, #look, #zoom, #anger, #video call, #boss, #easy, #golden age

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boss on video call. boss: some of you are only pretending to be paying attention to this zoom call. boss yelling: you're still doing it! stop it! look into the camera!!! dilbert at home. dilbert: pretending to listen to your boss has never been easier. dogbert: golden age!

Boss Needs To Be Dumber

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Boss Needs To Be Dumber  - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #business, #managers & supervisors, #sarcasm, #boss, #smart, #dumb, #technical, #decision, #effective, #influence

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dilbert and dogbert at home. dilbert: i think i'd be more effective at work if my boss were either smarter, so he'd understand me... or dumber, so he'd know it's better to let me make all of the technical decisions. and i can't make him smarter, so my plan is to make him dumber. dogbert: it seems i've been a bad influence.

Pandemic In Year Two

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Pandemic In Year Two - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #business, #tired, #face, #familiar, #exhausting, #sorry, #pandemic, #coffee

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dogbert: i am so tired of looking at your face. i mean seriously, it's exhausting. pandemic year 2 dilbert: sorry. dogbert: well, you should be.

Dlbert Prefers The Pandemic

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Dlbert Prefers The Pandemic  - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #health & safety, #pandemic, #end, #meet, #new, #people, #focus, #friends, #prefer

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dilbert and dogbert on a walk. dilbert: i don't want the pandemic to end because i kind of prefer not meeting new people. dogbert: don't focus on the end of the pandemic. maybe it's really about the friends you didn't make along the way.