Wife Had Baby Comic Strips

You can also use "quotes" and & to narrow down results.

656 Results for Wife Had Baby

View 1 - 10 results for wife had baby comic strips. Discover the best "Wife Had Baby" comics from Dilbert.com.

Wally Had Three Jobs

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.

Personal Growth

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Personal Growth - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #pandemic, #positive, #personal growth, #lockdown, #afraid, #fear, #prison, #life of crime, #attraction, #empathy, #people, #screen faces

View Transcript

Transcript

dilbert: one positive thing about the pandemic is all the personal growth i had during the lockdown. for example, i'm no longer afraid of going to prison, so... a life of crime is more attractive than ever. dogbert: did you lose your empathy for other people? dilbert: you mean the screen faces?

Boss Loves Dilbert

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Boss Loves Dilbert  - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #business, #managers & supervisors, #boss, #video call, #love, #wife, #camera, #relationship

View Transcript

Transcript

dilbert at home in recliner on video call with boss. voice from laptop: i love you. dilbert: you do? boss: no, not you. i was talking to my wife, who is off camera. no one loves you. dilbert: this was my longest relationship.

Wally's Advice

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Wally's Advice - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #Advice, #audience, #business, #complain, #connection, #droopy, #emotion, #emotional intelligence, #Entertainment, #hate, #medical, #persuasive, #problems, #sad, #sarcasm, #self-deprecating, #slide deck, #spouse, #technology, #tragic, #wife

View Transcript

Transcript

boss: if there anything i can do to make my slide deck more persuasive? wally: you need to make an emotional connection with your audience. start with a tragic personal story that makes everyone sad and droopy. then talk about your various medical problems, and don't spare the details. then complain about your wife because most people hate their spouses too, so they can relate. and don't spare the self-deprecating humor because everyone can relate to knowing you are a loser. boss: wow. thank you for that advice. i'll make those changes. dilbert: how much do you hate him? wally: it's more about my entertainment.

Deep Fake Zoom

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Deep Fake Zoom - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #business, #managers & supervisors, #technology, #video conference, #zoom, #call, #deep fake, #program, #generic, #employee, #work, #sarcasm, #cell phone, #laptop

View Transcript

Transcript

dilbert looking at phone on couch at home. dogbert: i thought you said you had a zoom call that would last for hours today. dilbert: i built a "deep fake" version of myself to take zoom calls and say generic employee stuff. next slide is boss in from of laptop on video call. boss: dilbert, do you have anything to add? dilbert: i don't know if i'm working hard or hardly working. har-har!

Traumatic Story

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Traumatic Story - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #mental health, #sales, #sales personnel, #business, #technology, #salesman, #traumatic, #experience, #child, #story, #relate, #manipulate, #emotions, #short-circuit, #critical, #thinking

View Transcript

Transcript

salesman in meeting: before i tell you about our newest product, i'd like to tell you a story about a traumatic experience i had as a child. wally: is your story related to the topic, or is it just an excuse to yammer about something that happened to you? salesman: i'm trying to manipulaye your emotions to short-circuit your critical thinking. wally: okay. carry on.

Wally's Best Idea

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Wally's Best Idea - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #managers & supervisors, #business, #lack, #accomplishments, #best, #idea, #career, #interruption, #finish, #sarcasm

View Transcript

Transcript

boss: wally, do you have a minute to talk about your total lack of accomplishments? wally yelling: gaaa!!! i just had the best idea of my career, and your interruption made me forget it! boss: but no accomplishments until now? wally: i'm a strong finisher.

Disagree With Experts

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Disagree With Experts - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #business, #office workers, #disagree, #respect, #experts, #happy, #criticism, #enjoy, #attention

View Transcript

Transcript

tina: every time i hear you disagreeing with the experts, i lose a little respect for you. dilbert: are you saying you once had respect for me? tina crying and yelling: stop being happy about my criticisms! dilbert: why can't i enjoy the attention?

Wally's Success

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Wally's Success - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #business, #managers & supervisors, #track, #success, #work, #correlation, #working, #sarcasm, #unproductive

View Transcript

Transcript

wally: i've been tracking my successes at work relative to my efforts, and i see no correlation. so if you see me not working hard, you should assume everything is fine. boss: you've never had a success to track. wally: i was hoping you didn't know that.

Vaccine

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Vaccine - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #business, #business ethics, #covid-19, #sarcasm, #vaccine, #pharma, #company, #target, #safety, #efficacy

View Transcript

Transcript

boss: i'm happy to announce that our company has produced a vaccine for covid-19. dilbert: how did we do that? we're not even a pharma company. boss: i'm not going to lie. we had to cut some corners to get it done. dilbert: such as... boss: well, for example... we couldn't meet every single target we hoped to achieve. dilbert: how many targets did we miss? boss: only two things. dilbert: safety and efficacy? boss: okay, four things.