Woman Asks Comic Strips

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View 1 - 10 results for woman asks comic strips. Discover the best "Woman Asks" comics from Dilbert.com.

Being Like A Man

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Being Like A Man - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share March 01, 2019's comic on:


Tags #advertising, #business, #criticism, #men and women, #relations between the sexes, #sales

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Boss: Our new advertising campaign is "Don't be like men." The ad starts with a montage of bad male behavior, from mansplaining to genocide. Then we show our product. Alice: Did a woman come up with this campaign? Boss: Stop being like a man.

Robot Coparents

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Robot Coparents - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share February 05, 2019's comic on:


Tags #marriage, #Parenting, #robot, #shocked, #humans, #rumor

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Asok: Is it true you married a human woman and she gave birth to a cyborg? Robot: No, that's a ridiculous rumor. Asok: Oh, good. Robot: We're co-parenting. We never got married.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share October 14, 2018's comic on:


Tags #carol, #Wally, #computer, #problem, #crumbs, #crosstalk, #protocols, #help

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Carol: Wally, can you help me with a computer problem? Wally: People usually don't ask me for help. Carol: Why is that? Wally: You'll find out. Carol: I can't log in to the server. Wally: I'll need to ask you a few questions. Have you ever eaten food near your computer. Carol: Um... Yes. Wally: That's your problem. Wally: Your crumbs are causing crosstalk on the protocols. Carol: Is this why no one asks you for help? Wally: It's in the top ten.

Dogbert The Insultant

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Dogbert The Insultant - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share October 10, 2018's comic on:


Tags #Dogbert, #business, #insultant, #journal, #week, #fat, #stupid, #question, #list

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Dogbert the business insultant. Dogbert: Make a journal of everything you do for a week. Then stop doing everything that is on your list because it's making you fat and stupid. The Boss: I have some questions. Dogbert: Add "asks questions" to your list.

Everyone Does Their Job

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Everyone Does Their Job - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share September 28, 2018's comic on:


Tags #coffee, #deadline, #Dilbert, #fashion, #jobs, #negative, #woman and dating

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Dilbert: We'll be ready by your deadline if everyone does their jobs in a timely fashion. Woman: How often does that happen? Dilbert: It has never happened. Woman: Then you're saying you won't be ready by the deadline. Dilbert: Why must you be so negative?

Social Media Ads To Influence

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Social Media Ads To Influence - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share September 12, 2018's comic on:


Tags #Dilbert, #brain-reading, #computer, #social media, #profile, #friends, #testing, #influence, #cyborg, #ridiculous, #phone

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Dilbert: My brain-reading computer is checking your social media profile and finding your friends. I am now testing social media posts to see which ones influence them to recommend that to you date a cyborg. Woman: That's the most ridiculous thing I have ever. Dilbert: check your phone.

Resistance Is Futile

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Resistance Is Futile - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share September 11, 2018's comic on:


Tags #Dilbert, #invention, #thoughts, #computer, #commands, #individual, #part, #collective, #internet, #sexy, #resistance, #futile

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Dilbert: My invention can read my thoughts and turn them into computer commands. I'm no longer an individual. Now I'm part of the collective internet mind. Woman: That is the least sexy thing I have ever heard. Dilbert:

How Dilbert Can Help

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How Dilbert Can Help - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share August 15, 2018's comic on:


Tags #Dilbert, #project, #criticism, #option, #boss, #worthless

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Dilbert: How can I help you on your project? Woman Employee: I'll send you my files and you can do all of my work while I criticize you behind your back. Dilbert: Is there another option? Woman Employee: Yes, it' involves telling your boss you're worthless.

Dilbert Offers To Help

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Dilbert Offers To Help - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share August 14, 2018's comic on:


Tags #Dilbert, #help, #project, #sucker, #woman employee

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Dilbert: Our pointy-haired boss asked me to help you on your project. Woman Employee: Yes!! My dream of getting paid while other people do my work is becoming a reality! Dilbert: I might have played this wrong. Woman employee: Sucker!

How About Lunch

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How About Lunch - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share July 26, 2018's comic on:


Tags #dating, #flirting, #rejection, #relationships, #obliviousness

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Dilbert: Would you like to have a drink after work? Woman: I don't drink. Dilbert: How about lunch? Woman: I also don't eat. Do you see a pattern yet? Dilbert: You're an android?