Worst Means Comic Strips

You can also use "quotes" and & to narrow down results.

262 Results for Worst Means

View 1 - 10 results for worst means comic strips. Discover the best "Worst Means" comics from Dilbert.com.

Worst That Can Happen

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Worst That Can Happen - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Dilbert Characters

Loud Using Zoom

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Loud Using Zoom - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags business, technology, zoom, mortgage, loud, noise, calls, war, blackmail, surprise, laptop, imagine

View Transcript

Transcript

dogbert: can you please stop talking so loudly on your zoom calls?!!! dilbert at home in front of laptop: i'm sorry, but i pay the mortgage, and i have a right to make as much noise as i want in my own house. dogbert: oh, wow. did you really play the "mortgage card" on me? dogbert: this is war! wait until you see what i do in the background of your next zoom call. i don't want to ruin the surprise, but think of the number-one worst thing you can imagine me doing. are you picturing it in your mind? it's bad isn't it? now imagine at the same time i also start doing the second-worst thing you can imagine. dilbert: noooo!!!!

Not The Smartest

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Not The Smartest - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags business, engineers, smart, iterate, technology, leadership, incompetence, excellence, sarcasm

View Transcript

Transcript

boss: we might not have the smartest engineers, but we can iterate faster than anyone. dilbert: actually, we do have the smartest engineers, but your leadership incompetence cancels out our excellence. dilbert: and i'll bet you don't know what "iterate" means. boss: i didn't think it would matter.

Worst Place To Work

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Worst Place To Work - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags barrel, best, business, dead, employees, employment, place, publication, squirrels, technology, trade, work, sarcasm

View Transcript

Transcript

boss in board room: a trade publication ranked us dead last on their list of "best places to work." the review says, "employees say working there is like eating a barrel of dead squirrels." boss: could have been worse. dilbert: only for the squirrels.

Ted Reimagined More

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Ted Reimagined More - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags managers & supervisors, business, employment, unnecessary, job, budget, sarcasm

View Transcript

Transcript

boss: when i say we need to reimagine your job, it means we no longer need anyone to do what you have been doing. ted: do you mind if i ask when you first realized that my job was totally unnecessary? boss: it was four years ago, but you seemed happy, and we had the budget to pay you, so...

Reimagine Ted's Job

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Reimagine Ted's Job - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags boring, business, job, new, pay, projects, reimagine, technology, compensation

View Transcript

Transcript

boss: ted, we need to reimagine your job. ted: i hope that means you will replace the boring parts of my job with exciting new projects. boss: it doesn't mean that. boss: does it mean doing the same work for higher pay?

Elbonian Words

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Elbonian Words - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags business, technology, elbonian, headquarters, language, factory, Word

View Transcript

Transcript

boss: headquarters has released a new list of things you are not supposed to say when visiting our elbonian factory. at the top of the list, never say "glfalawah" to an elbonian. alice: because it means something naughty? boss: because it isn't a word.

Asok Is Overpaid

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Asok Is Overpaid - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags managers & supervisors, business, project, technology, time, pay, argue, math, face mask, salary

View Transcript

Transcript

asok: i finished my project in half the projected time. boss: that means i'm paying you twice as much as you deserve. asok: i don't think it means that at all. boss: you look dumb arguing with math.

Anecdotal Testing

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Anecdotal Testing - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags boss, business, confused, engineering, sarcasm, tests

View Transcript

Transcript

Boss: Have you tested this to know it will work? Dilbert: I tested it anecdotally. Boss: I don't know what that word means. Wally: Well played.

Version 2 Kills

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Version 2 Kills - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags business, upgrade, software, technology, version, health, issue, nonsense

View Transcript

Transcript

wally with face mask giving presentation: according to our newest data, 100% of the people who upgraded to version 2.0 of our software died the same day. wally to boss: but we don't think it means anything because all of them had underlying health issues. boss: how did they all have underlying health issues? wally: version 1.0 had some rough edges too.