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21 Results for [060������������] 30��������� ���060 702 8400��� ���������060������������ ������������ ���������������

View 1 - 10 results for [060������������] 30��������� ���060-702-8400��� ���������060������������ ������������ ��������������� comic strips. Discover the best "[060������������] 30��������� ���060 702 8400��� ���������060������������ ������������ ���������������" comics from Dilbert.com.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags bathrobe, 30% raise, dont quit, terry cloth rebel

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Dilbert wears a bathroom and carries a briefcase. Dilbert walks by the boss. The boss thinks, "A bathrobe! This can only mean he found out how much market power an engineer has." The boss says, "I'll give you a 30% raise if you don't quit!!" Dilbert says, "Um.. okay." A women with several piercings says, "Take me, you terry-cloth rebel."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags 30 thousand employees, emails jokes per week, file bankruptcy, lost prodcutivity, ten million, holding employee responsible

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Catbert says to Tina, "Tina, our records show that you forward an average of nineteen e-mail jokes per week." Catbert continues, "Each joke goes to 30,000 employees, costing us ten million per year in lost productivity." Catbert concludes, "We plan to blame you when we file for bankruptcy next week." Tina is visibly worried.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags asok, intern, indian institute of technology, 30 years in box, punished to box

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Man says, "Asok, you have violated the Indian Institute of Technology's ban on the use of telekinesis in the ungifted world." Man says, "Your punishment is 30 years in the box." Dilbert says, "Where were you this morning?" Asok The Intern says, "Grrrrr"

The Moron Option

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The Moron Option - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags business, technology, corporate rule, vendor, accounts receivable, 30 days, pay, payment, exception, moron

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dilbert: our corporate rule is that we won't do business with any vendor who does not give us at least 30 days to pay. dilbert: but we can get the same product for half the price if we go with the vendor who wants payment immediately. should we make an obvious exception here or be morons? boss: i think you're under-valuing the moron options.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags money, budget, last year objectives, huge loss, bottomline, punish siuccess, startegy, management

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Boss: We've been asked to cut our budget by 30%. Dilbert: That doesn't make sense. We met all of our objectives last year. Boss: A different part of our company had a huge loss. Dilbert: Shouldn't you cut their budget, not ours? Boss: Their budget isn't big enough to make a difference to the bottom line. Dilbert: So our strategy is to punish success, and reward failure? Boss: Just do your job and leave the strategy to management. Dilbert: Hypothetically, if I do my job poorly, would that be good or bad for me?

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags never time lunch, men are early, upgrading pcs, paid off, effieciency, hungry, secrets

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Dilbert and Wally sit at a table eating lunch. Alice walks over and says, "Why is it that I never have time to eat but you MEN are in here every day at 11:35?" Wally replies, "Because the hours we spent upgrading our PCs have finally paid off by greatly improving our efficiency." After Alice has left the table, Dilbert says to Wally, "I thought it was because we get hungry at 11:30?" Wally replies, "We can't reveal all our secrets."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags stock, shares, timely leaks, media, value plunged, sell now, fair share price, want copy, Entertainment

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Dogbert sits at a conference table with the Boss and three other managers. Dogbert says, "Your stock was $30 per share when I offered to buy the company, but thanks to some timely leaks to the media your value has plunged." Dogbert continues, "However, if you sell right now I'll pay the full $30 for your stock." The Boss says, "I recommend we do it." A manager hands the signed contract back to Dogbert and says, "Done. $30 per share is more than fair." Dogbert replies, "Yeah, 'per share' would have been fair. Anybody want a copy?" The Boss looks shocked.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags 30 day dance of death, new job within, spray paint

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Catbert, standing on a table, says to Ted, "Ted, your thirty-day dance of death begins today." Shaking a bottle of spray-paint, Catbert says, "You must find a new job within the company during that time." As Catbert spray-paints the letter 'L' on Ted's chest, Ted says, "Is the spray-paint absolutely necessary?" Catbert says, "That's an 'L'."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags 30 years, award for five years, sick day

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The Boss: Now Id like to recognize walter for his five years of work for this company. walter: Thanks, but I've been here for thirty years ....Oh, I get it now. I feel a sick day coming on.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags minor success, chance corporate ruination

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The project has a 70% chance of minor success and a 30% chance of corporate ruination. The Boss: I like those odds. when can we start. Dilbert: Start? I wish we had ten more projects like this one.