10 Year Anniversary Comic Strips
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414 Results for 10 Year Anniversary
View 1 - 10 results for 10 year anniversary comic strips. Discover the best "10 Year Anniversary" comics from Dilbert.com.
Sunday December 22,
1996
Tags #10 year anniversary, #service anniversary catalog, #ceremony, #speech, #pick out gift, #catalogue, #golf ball, #t shirt
Transcript
Carol tells Wally, "Today is your ten-year anniversary, Wally." Carol says, "Pick a gift from the service anniversary catalog." Wally asks, "Is there a ceremony?" Carol replies, "Yeah. We just had it." Wally asks, "May I say a few words?" Carol replies, "Anywhere but here." Wally looks through the catalog and tells Dilbert, "The selection of gifts at the ten-year level is somewhat meager." Dilbert says, "The golf ball is nice." Wally says, "I'm leaning toward the 'I'm with stupid' shirt." Dilbert says, "All I see is a blank shirt." Wally says, "It comes with a fabric pen." Dilbert says, "I can almost feel the love our company has for us." Wally asks, "What do you mean 'us'?"
Thursday April 04,
2002
Tags #3 year anniversary, #first meeting, #project requirements, #probelm
Transcript
Dilbert addresses a meeting, "Today is the three-year anniversary of our first meeting to discuss project requirements." Dilbert continues, "And we're still discussing requirements. Does anyone else see a problem here?" A coworker turns to Dilbert and says, "When you're done, can we talk about requirements?"
Sunday December 26,
2021
10 Year Projection
Sunday October 07,
2001
Tags #service anniversary, #20 years, #one year pins, #asked for money, #six years, #pay for pins, #card with wrong name, #unappreciative, #creepy business practices
Transcript
Alice is sitting at her computer. The Boss approaches from behind with a package in his hand and says, "Happy service anniversary, Alice." The Boss continues, "We're out of twenty-year pins so I got twenty of the one- year pins." The Boss hands Alice the package and says, "You can pin these babies all over your blouse... or fishing hat if you prefer." The Boss continues, "The card says, 'To Kathy' but it was never opened. For some reason she quit the day she got her twenty pins." The Boss continues, "Incidentally, I have to charge you $262 for the pins. The company doesn't pay for them." Alice holds the box angrily. Alice responds, "First of all, I've only worked here for about six years.." The Boss interrupts, "Wow, you look older. Anyway, just give me the $262 and throw away eight pins and we'll call it good." Alice rolls up her sleeve and shakes with anger. She holds one arm back with the other. The Boss asks, "Why are you rolling up your sleeve? Are you going to pin them to your arm?
Monday November 14,
2005
Tags #10 million dollars, #company, #four people, #weather website, #web monitoring, #business
Transcript
"Alice, this year you did the work of four people and made over $10 million for the company." "But according to our web monitoring software, you used company resources to look at a weather web site." "Thief."
Sunday March 31,
2002
Tags #superior perfromance, #not effective, #budget increase approved, #retroactive, #be happy, #some no raises, #10% raise, #future raise
Transcript
The Boss says to Alice, "Alice, your performance this year was superior. I'm giving you a 10 % raise." The Boss continues, "But it's not effective right away." "It kicks in as soon as soon as my budget increase gets approved." Carol asks, "When will that be?" The Boss responds, "As soon as the economy improves and profits go up!" Carol asks, "But my raise will be retroactive to today, right?" The Boss replies, "No." The Boss continues, "You should be happy. Some people aren't getting any raises at all." Carol holds one arm down with the other and thinks, "Must.. control fist... of death." Carol bumps into Wally in the hallway. Wally says, "I just got a 14% future raise just for showing up." Carol holds her arm down again and exclaims, "Gaaa!!!"
Friday December 27,
2019
Employer Of The Year
Tags #advertising, #managers & supervisors, #employer, #year, #million dollars, #attitude, #business
Transcript
boss: i'm proud to announce that we've been named "employer of the year." dilbert: how much did that cost? boss: nothing! all we had to do was buy a million dollars' worth of ads. dilbert: did we need those ads? boss: you won't win any awards with that attitude.
Friday March 25,
2011
Tags #deception, #managers & supervisors, #learn from mistakes, #make alits, #wrong this year, #coincidence, #perfromance reviews, #management legends, #business
Transcript
The Boss says, "We can learn from our mistakes. Let's make a list of the things that each of you did wrong this year." Dilbert says, "It is just a coincidence that our annual performance reviews are due next week?" The Boss says, "It would have been the stuff of management legends." Catbert says, "Very nice try."
Saturday April 23,
2011
Tags #announcements, #committee decided, #file naming, #month, #year, #day, #space, #temperature, #airport, #hat size, #long meeting, #best work
Transcript
Ted: The committee decided that the file naming convention will start with the date, in the order of month, year, day... then a space, then the temperature at the airport, and the hat size of the nearest squirrel. To be perfectly honest, it was a long meeting and we probably didn't do our best work toward the end.
Sunday September 25,
2011
Tags #competition (psychology), #goals for the year, #assignments, #average raise, #invent nuclear fusion, #lack of knowledge
Transcript
Boss: I'm getting writer's block trying to come up with your goals for the year. Dilbert: Just write anything. We both know I'll ignore the goals and work on whatever you assign to me. Boss: How will I know if you do a good job if you don't have goals? Dilbert: Same way as always. You'll compare your lack of knowledge about what I did to the goals you imagine you might have created if you could have seen the future. Then you'll give me an average raise just like everyone else who didn't invent nuclear fusion. Boss: Works for me. Dilbert: It's better to not overthink these things.