15 % Comic Strips
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17 Results for 15 %
View 1 - 10 results for 15 % comic strips. Discover the best "15 %" comics from Dilbert.com.
Friday June 22,
2001
Tags #$35 worth food, #15% tip, #penne pasta, #no log cabin, #build log cabin, #sitaution, #promise
Transcript
Dilbert looks at a menu in a restaurant and says, "Bring me $35 worth of food, including your 15% tip." The waitress reaches for his menu and asks, "If I bring you a penne pasta, will you promise not to build a log cabin on your plate?" Dilbert replies, "I can't promise that." The waitress says, "Well then, we have a situation here."
Thursday March 17,
2005
Tags #conference call, #boss, #15 people, #availablity, #august 6th, #5 minutes, #so far so good
Transcript
Asok: "Hello, this is Asok the intern. I am trying to set up a conference all with you boss and 15 other people."<Br>"Could you tell me all of the times he is available in the next six months?"<Br>"Only Augus sixth between 8:35 and 8:40." "So far so good."
Friday March 18,
2005
Tags #conference call, #success, #set up, #15 people, #forgot to call in, #mute buttons, #spinning story
Transcript
Asok: The conference call was a huge sucess. "Three out of 15 people were available and only one of them forgot to call in." The boss: "So it was a phone call between two people?" Asok: "It would have been if they hadn't used the mute buttons."
Friday August 08,
2008
Tags #cooked books, #pension fund, #15% per year, #crooks, #optimists, #whistling noise, #soul escaping
Transcript
Dogbert says, "I cooked the books by assuming your pension fund will earn 15% per year." Pension Fund 15% Dogbert says, "Technically you aren't crooks, just optimists." Tweet! Mmph! Tweet! Dogbert says, "If you hear a whistling noise, that would be your soul escaping through your nose."
Saturday July 02,
1994
Tags #felt like kissing, #first date 85%, #kiss good night, #third date, #wearing sweat pants
Transcript
Dilbert: "This was our third date, Liz. Tradition demands that you kiss me or give me the 'let's be friends' talk." LIZ: "No, our first date only counted as 85 % because we were wearing our sweat pants." DILBERT: "I'm 15 % short?!!" LIZ: "It's too bad, because I really felt like kissing."
Friday September 15,
1995
Tags #time sheet, #increments, #15 minutes, #meetings, #shower time thinking, #designing circuits, #complaining
Transcript
Dilbert hands his timesheet to a secretary and says, "Here's my timesheet, filled out in increments of fifteen minutes." Dilbert says, "As usual, I coded the useless hours spent in meetings as 'work,' whereas the time I spent in the shower designing circuits in my mind as 'non-work.'" Dilbert continues, "Interestingly, even the time I spend complaining about my lack of productivity is considered 'work.'" The secretary thinks, "I hate my life."
Monday April 28,
1997
Tags #wally report, #weekly stats upadte, #industry average, #income, #supply cabinet unlocked
Transcript
The Boss, Dilbert, Wally and Alice sit at a conference table. Wally says, "It's time now for the Wally Report, a weekly status update." Wally continues, "My income is 80 percent of industry average, enthusiasm is at 63 percent of capacity and my ego shield is holding at 15 percent." Dilbert says, "Your enthusiasm is up from last week." Wally says, "Someone left the supply cabinet unlocked!"
Sunday October 01,
1995
Tags #desired salary, #million dollars, #how much expected, #misleading, #salary, #fantasy layered, #little shoulder massge, #15 %, #money
Transcript
Dilbert wears a suit and holds a briefcase. He says, "Wish me luck, Dogbert." Dogbert asks, "If you get more luck, wouldn't there be less luck available for me?" A woman at a desk looks at Dilbert's application and says, "For 'desired salary' you wrote 'one million dollars.'" Dilbert says, "Yes, thanks for asking." The woman says, "Perhaps the question is misleading. The application should have asked what salary you EXPECT." Dilbert replies, "Oh . . . Well, I expect you'll hire somebody more qualified and my salary will remain unchanged." The woman says, "No, too honest. I'm looking for something CLOSE to reality, with maybe twenty-percent fantasy layered on top." Dilbert replies, "Okay . . . I'd like a fifteen-percent raise and a little shoulder massage." Back at home, Dilbert asks Dogbert, "Why does it seem that I'm the only honest guy on earth?" Dogbert replies, "Your type tends not to reproduce."
Wednesday July 13,
2005
Tags #wake up call, #^am, #bellmen, #head of bed, #blind maids, #pants, #manager, #five star hotel
Transcript
Five-Star Hotel The Boss: "I'd like a wake-up call at 6 a.m. and a second one at 6:15." "Then I'd like a team of bellmen to lift the head of the bed while blind maids hold my pants so I can slide into them." "Why yes, as a matter of fact, I AM a manager."
Wednesday August 17,
2005
Tags #topper vs. a customer, #dogsled race, #world toughest terrain, #better than, #top you, #cancel deal, #burn to ground, #go one better, #more better
Transcript
Topper vs. a Customer "I competed in the Iditarod, an 1,150-mile dogsled race lasting 15 days, over the world's toughest terrain." "That's nothing. I completed the race while pretending to be one of your dogs." "Now I don't want to buy from your company." "That's nothing. Now I plan to burn my company to the ground!"