150 Per Hour Comic Strips
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260 Results for 150 Per Hour
View 1 - 10 results for 150 per hour comic strips. Discover the best "150 Per Hour" comics from Dilbert.com.
Thursday December 19,
1996
Tags #consultant, #highly paid, #150 per hour, #ideal career, #unproductive, #business
Transcript
Ratbert leans on Wally's monitor and says, "As a consultant, I earn $150 per hour even when I'm unproductive." Ratbert continues, "I can earn 42 cents by wiggling my furry little behind for ten seconds." Ratbert shouts, "C'mon, count with me!!!" Wally tells Dilbert, "When I imagine my ideal career, it's never like this."
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marketing, project, cloud, catbert, leadership, budget, birthday, engineer, time sheet, sales, wally, strategy, dogbert, powerpoint, project management, topper, leader, boss, change, meeting, data, management, mordac
Sunday May 15,
2005
Tags #400 per hour, #expensive, #ball rolling, #process using, #recommendations
Transcript
The Boss: Mister Dogbert has agreed to consult for $400 per hour. "I know it's expensive but you get what you pay for." "Let's get the ball rolling." "My first question is: what process will you be using to arrive at your recommendations?" Dogbert: "a..." "very...slow one..."
Sunday May 30,
2004
Tags #tight budget, #colorful paper clips, #incoming email, #paid per hour, #watch, #meeting, #berate employee, #business
Transcript
"Yesterday, someone in this room gave me a document with a yellow paper clip." "I know that multicolored paper clips look 'pretty.'" "But I remind you that we are on a tight budget!" "We can't be throwing away all our money on colorful paper clips." "Do I make myself clear?!!" "I salvaged that paper clip from incoming mail." "Now excuse me while I stare at my watch and wonder how much you're paid per hour." "I'm sure you've done inefficient things that I don't know about." "Two minutes is... $5."
Wednesday November 26,
2003
Tags #lawyer, #400 per hour, #calls dilbert, #legal
Transcript
Hello. "This is your lawyer." Lawyer: "Do you mind if I think about you for a few minutes?" "Um... no." "Mmm... $400 an hour." Dilbert: "Wait.. dear lord... noooo!!!"
Saturday August 25,
2012
Tags #business ethics, #fake 50%, #dumb customers, #smart shoppers, #$400 per hour, #freaking genius
Transcript
Dogbert consults Dogbert: Your fake 50% sale prices make dumb customers feel like smart shoppers. CEO: Why am I paying you $400 an hour to tell me what I already know? Dogbert: Usually I charge $800 and hour. CEO: Yes! I'm a freakin' genius.
Monday February 19,
1990
Tags #Dilbert, #phone, #library, #reference, #boola-boola dog, #tazmanian, #stuck, #teeth
Transcript
Dilbert says into the telephone, "Hello, is this the library reference desk?" A voice answers, "Yes." Dilbert asks, "What's the average running speed of the Tazmanian Boola-Boola dog?" The librarian replies, "8.3 miles per hour." Dilbert looks at the phone and says, "I can't believe she knew that." The librarian says, "And you have something stuck in your teeth."
Friday February 10,
1995
Tags #make less, #janitor, #plunger, #plumber, #rascal, #animal, #alice loves job, #boss, #raise
Transcript
Alice shows the Boss a document and says angrily, "When you consider the hours I work, I make less per hour than the janitor!" The janitor enters carrying a plunger with a small animal sticking out of it. He says to the Boss, "Look what was blocking the pipes! It took me all morning to plunge the rascal out." Alice and the Boss look surprised. Still looking shocked, Alice says, "I love my job." The Boss says, "I'm giving him a raise."
Sunday October 10,
1993
Tags #Dilbert, #Dogbert, #man, #parking lot, #car
Transcript
Dilbert and Dogbert stand in a parking lot. A man approaches their car and says, "Hey! Dilbert! Is that your nerdmobile?" The man laughs. Dilbert thinks, "It's my old high school nemesis, Chuck." Chuck says, "Maybe you'd like to race me in my Corvette." He laughs. Dilbert points to his car and says, "Actually, Chuck, if you had taken a science class you'd know this a 'Seebeck effect' power plant capable of 600 miles per hour." Dilbert continues, "Any idiot knows you can get massive power simply by using the sun to heat the junction of two dissimilar wires joined at both ends." Dilbert continues, "Apparently I'm faster AND smarter than you. And these tax forms show that I also earn more than you." Dogbert holds up the forms. Chuck says, "Here's a picture of my new girlfriend. She teaches aerobics." Dilbert says, "He's winning. Help me out here, Dogbert." Dogbert waves his paw and says, "Step aside." Dogbert tells Chuck, "I notice that your girlfriend has unusually large hands and a very pronounced Adam's apple." Chuck asks, "So?"
Monday November 19,
2007
Tags #Dogbert, #consultatnt, #lies or truth, #manage engineers, #earthworm juggle, #premium price
Transcript
Dogbert Consults Dilbert: "Do you want me to lie to you for $400 per hour or give you the truth for $200?" The Boss: "I'll take the truth." Dogbert: "Okay, the problem is that having you try to manage engineers is like having an earthworm try to juggle." "How's my premium pricing option sound to you now?"
Saturday November 28,
2020
Zoom Happy Hour
Tags #business, #technology, #zoom, #happy hour, #morale, #department, #alcohol, #drinking, #drunk
Transcript
boss on video conference with dilbert and alice. boss: we're going to start having zoom happy hour every weekday to boost morale. dilbert: you're the only one in the entire department who drinks alcohol. boss: you're all looshers. alice: did you already start drinking? boss: i love you!