300% More Criticism Comic Strips
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1000 Results for 300% More Criticism
View 1 - 10 results for 300% more criticism comic strips. Discover the best "300% More Criticism" comics from Dilbert.com.
Tuesday August 27,
1996
Tags #boost morale, #more reviews, #hear employees, #300% more criticism, #working in box
Transcript
The Boss says, "Good news, Alice. I'm going to have quarterly performance reviews to boost morale." Alice stands in her cubicle and replies, "Wow! In addition to working sixteen hours a day in this big box, now I'll get 300% more criticism!" The Boss says, "I'll have a chance to hear employee concerns four times a year." Alice says, "I assume comprehension will remain on the bicentennial plan."
Saturday June 11,
2016
Tina's Criticism
Tags #work spouse, #wife, #wives, #criticism, #nagging, #Women, #relationships
Transcript
Tina: As your work wife, I have some constructive criticism for you. Dilbert: Great. Tina: You'd be more attractive if you were taller, I just realized I don't know the difference between constructive criticism and the regular kind.
Thursday January 26,
2012
Tags #cruelty, #destructive criticism, #dumb, #employees, #team, #hired, #meeting, #business
Transcript
Boss: I'd like to begin the meeting by giving Dilbert some destructive criticism. Everything you do is dumb. I don't know why I hired you. I feel much more motivated now. If you feel a little bit worse, we came out ahead as a team.
Friday October 25,
1991
Tags #Dilbert, #customers, #consultant, #tom peters, #follows, #around, #passionate, #criticism, #splitter, #customer
Transcript
Dilbert sits across from the Boss's desk. The Boss says, "We've got to focus more on the needs of our customers." The Boss points to a man standing next to him and says, "I've hired famous business consultant Tom Peters to follow you around and make passionate criticism." Tom stands behind Dilbert while he works. Tom waves his arms as he asks, "Is this quality? Are you truly focused on the customer?" Dilbert thinks, "Great . . . He's a spitter."
Monday September 03,
2007
Tags #project, #300 days, #complete, #finish by 5oclock, #clean desk, #fired, #lose interest
Transcript
The Boss: "I hired all of you because the project will take 300 man days to complete." "There are 300 of you, so I want you to finish by five o'clock and clean out your desks. You're all fired." "If it takes more than one meeting to manage a project, I lose interest."
Tuesday December 02,
2014
Boss Offers Constructive Criticism
Tags #criticism, #insult, #insults, #managers, #managers & supervisors, #constructive critiscm, #under informed, #opinions, #business
Transcript
Boss: Do you want some constructive criticism? Dilbert: No, but I would love some under-informed opinions about things you don't understand. Boss: That took a lot of fun out of it.
Wednesday September 09,
2015
Ceo Gets Paid More For Creating Nothing
Tags #small talk, #conversation, #criticism, #executives, #salary, #wages, #fairness, #offense, #offend, #money
Transcript
Dilbert: Do you ever think it's weird that you get paid a hundred times more than me? I invented our core technology. All you did was interview better than a few other people who didn't invent anything. I'm not good at small talk. CEO: I would totally fire you if I could invent things.
Saturday April 21,
2018
Show More Initiative
Tags #managers, #boss, #criticism, #encouragement, #initiative, #engagement
Transcript
Boss: You fool! That web page is not designed the way I would have done it! And I never would have explained it this way! Lastly, I want you to show more initiative. Dilbert: Are you still here?
Tuesday July 16,
2019
Phone Is More Interesting
Tags #cell phone, #criticism, #date, #dinner, #Entertainment, #men and women, #texting, #smartphone
Transcript
Tina: I just realized I enjoy using my phone more than I enjoy interacting with you. I mean, this thing is amazing, whereas you haven't found a way to entertain me all night. Dilbert: Maybe I'll grow on you. Tina: "Now he sounds like a tumor. LOl!"
Thursday March 31,
2011
Tags #created cold fusion, #jar with light bulb, #more news, #camera guy
Transcript
Press Conference Dogbert says, "As you can clearly see, I have created cold fusion." Man says, "That's not cold fusion. It's just a jar with a lightbulb." Dogbert says, "Here's some more news: No one cares what the camera guy thinks." Woman says, "It's free energy!"