boss: dilbert, i need you to respond to this reporter who thinks our 5g technology is dangerous.
dilbert: is it dangerous?
boss: how would i know?
dilbert: maybe i should study it first.
boss: never mind. i'll ask someone else.
dilbert: according to people on social media, our 5g technology will "give you a bird head." maybe we should study it a bit more.
wally: nah, i'd wait until we see a beak.
dilbert: our 5g test accidentally opened a doorway to the demon world.
boss: let's keep that to ourselves so we don't spook the public.
dilbert: don't tell me. tell daryll.
green demon standing behind boss: hey, nice world you have here.
dilbert: and that's why i recommend creating a 5g format called orthogonal frequency division multiplexing.
boss: that will never work.
dilbert: it's already an industry standard. i was joking.
boss: stop doing the to me.
dilbert: i don't know if i can.
boss: we are rolling out our new 5G wireless service today.
dilbert: we don't have any 5G technology.
boss: it's really 4G, but no one wants that, so we call it 5G.
dilbert: people will complain.
boss: that's okay. we're also making it impossible to reach us by phone.
tina: i don't want to sit too near your 5G phone prototype. i worry that it will fry my eggs.
boss: don't be silly. this phone was extensively tested for safety by qualified experts.
boss to dogbert: i need you to test this 5G phone for safety.
dogbert at desk labeled "low-cost testing: it looks fine to me. i'll email you my bill.
dilbert and boss on video call.
dilbert: my answer will be highly technical, so you might not be able to follow.
boss: pfft! try me.
dilbert: if the 5g node flurtifies the adjunct signal modulator, the entire neural honeycomb will transverpilate.
boss: did i suddenly get dumber?
dilbert: not suddenly, no.
