Headline: Performance Review. The Boss says to Dilbert, "You did two jobs for a year and you did them well." The Boss continues, "I have no budget for raises, so all I can offer is an attaboy." The Boss continues, "The problem is: I don't want to cheapen the whole attaboy system."
"I'd like to boost morale by presenting this 'Attaboy' certificate to Willy."
"It's Wally, not Willy."
"I becomes an A with a dot over it."
"Wink"
"Anyway, this is for your good work on the Alpha project."
"Thanks, but I didn't work on the Alpha project."
"Get out of my sight, you lazy imposter!"
"With a little bit of luck, I can pull this out."
"I give you your Indian name: Wallyina"
Dilbert is working on a model. The Boss approaches. Dilbert says, "I built a working model to test my nuclear power plant design." The Boss asks, "How big will the real one be?" Dilbert responds, "About half this size. And it will cost $23 to build." The Boss replies, "I'd give you an attaboy certificate but my printer is out of paper."
Dilbert: My motivation is low today. I understand it's your job to fix that situation. An insincere attaboy or a fake interest in my life would be enough. Boss: Drop dead and let the flies eat you. Dilbert: I set the bar too high again.
