Bell Curve Comic Strips
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16 Results for Bell Curve
View 1 - 10 results for Bell Curve comic strips. Discover the best "Bell Curve" comics from Dilbert.com.
Monday January 20,
1997
Tags bad news, perfromance review, bell curve, make up flaws, does not wash hands, after restroom
Transcript
The Boss tells Wally, "Bad news on your performance review, Wally." The Boss continues, "Everyone performed the same. But I'm required to rank the group on a bell curve." The Boss continues, "I had to make up some flaws to move you down the curve. Here's a pen. Sign it." Wally reads the review, "Employee does not wash hands after using the restroom."
Tuesday January 21,
1997
Tags perfromance review, alleged misdeeds, lower rating, fit bell curve, selling crack
Transcript
Wally tells the Boss, "I can't sign this performance review! It's full of alleged misdeeds that you invented to lower my rating!" The Boss replies, "Yes, but I think it reflects the sort of things you MIGHT do. I had to make all the reviews fit a bell curve." Wally screams, "I am NOT selling crack from my cubicle!!!"
Wednesday March 06,
1991
Tags Dogbert, self, service, curve, pumps, figure
Transcript
Dogbert stands in front of several men and says, "Dogbert's School for Self-Service Gas Station Attendants will not be easy." Dogbert says, "Phillips! What would you do if a customer couldn't figure out how to use the pumps?" Phillips answers, "Nothing. It's self-service." The man sitting next to him thinks, "Great . . . there goes the curve."
Wednesday April 01,
1992
Tags Dogbert, tax, rebate, Dogs, only, fair, stimulate, economy, keynesian, free, market, boost, gnp, supply, side, curve, positive, vote, reel
Transcript
Dogbert sits across from the President's desk. Dogbert says, "So, Mister President, a tax rebate for dogs is the only fair way to stimulate the economy." Dogbert continues, "Because then you get a keynesian free market multiplier effect to boost your GNP up the supply side of the curve." The President asks, "Are you POSITIVE that dogs can vote?" Dogbert thinks, "Now, r-e-e-l him in . . ."
Monday March 08,
1993
Tags Dogbert, Dilbert, computer, chip, market, machine, date, curve, technology, racing, state, edge, museums
Transcript
Dilbert sits at his desk working on his computer. Dogbert says, "I just read that a new computer chip is on the market. Your machine is out of date." Dogbert continues, "You're behind the curve. Technology is racing ahead without you. You're no longer state-of-the-art or leading edge." Dogbert continues, "Sometimes people like you can get jobs in museums." Dilbert yells, "I bought this thing yesterday!!"
Tuesday March 09,
1993
Tags Dilbert, Wally, computer, obsolete, engineers, down, technology, curve
Transcript
Dilbert says to Wally and Ted, "I'm so mad . . . I just bought a new computer and it's already obsolete." Wally replies, "Don't feel bad. The other engineers won't look down on you just because you're behind the technology curve." Ted says, "Yeah, we will." Wally replies, "Not right in front of him."
Friday July 12,
1996
Tags ranking, rating system, salary depnds, bpss, defends, managers, ring a bell
Transcript
The Boss's secretary tells Dilbert, "He's with the other managers in an employee ranking and rating session." The secretary continues, "Your salary depends on how well your boss can defend your proposed raise to the other managers." Dilbert covers his eyes and sobs. A man says to the Boss, "I'm fairly sure this Dilbert guy works for you." The Boss replies, "Doesn't ring a bell."
Sunday October 04,
1998
Tags bell, improve moral, achieve goal, ring bell, yell accomplishment, bell works, alice, resisted killing boss
Transcript
The Boss points to a bell on the wall and says, "This bell will improve your morale." The Boss continues, "You ring the bell whenever you achieve a goal." The Boss turns and shouts, "Then yell your accomplishment to the rest of the office." The Boss turns to face the office and says, "I know it sounds corny, but the bell has worked in other offices." Dilbert asks, "Does your information come from the bosses of those companies?" The Boss responds, "No. It comes from a magazine that interviewed those bosses." Alice grabs the bell and says, "I'll go first." The bell sounds, "CLANG! CLANG!" Alice calls out to the office, "I resisted killing my boss with a stupid bell."
Saturday July 08,
1989
Transcript
Dilbert says to a salesclerk in a retail clothing store, "I'm looking for a fine wool suit, in the $700 range. Something fashionable yet timeless." The clerk hands him a suit and says, "Try this $35 nylon beauty, suitable for swimming or dining out. The bell bottoms are no extra charge." Dilbert says, "Wow!" Dilbert walks away carrying the $35 suit. He says, "I guess I was just born to be a fashion pioneer."
Thursday May 21,
1992
Tags Dilbert, dave, haircut, learning, saving, money, counting, divorce, therapy
Transcript
Dilbert asks a man, "What happened to your head, Dave?" Dave replies, "I'm cutting my own hair now." Dave's hair is unevenly cut and shaved in places. Dave continues, "I'm not too far along the old learning curve, but at least I'm saving money." Dilbert asks, "How much did you save?" Dave replies, "Not counting the divorce and therapy?"