Consultant Spell Comic Strips

You can also use "quotes" and & to narrow down results.

159 Results for Consultant Spell

View 1 - 10 results for Consultant Spell comic strips. Discover the best "Consultant Spell" comics from Dilbert.com.

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #rather the consultant, #consulting spell, #overly complicated, #matices, #diagrams, #intellectual superirority

View Transcript

Transcript

The Boss sits at a table with his arms outstretched. He says, "I am under your consulting spell." Ratbert asks, "Really?" The Boss continues, "Your overly complicated matrices and diagrams have convinced me of your intellectual superiority." The Boss says, "I am afraid to act without your approval." Ratbert asks, "Did I say you could put your arms up like that?"

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #boss, #coincidence, #fallen under spell, #morons, #must, #pay inexperienced strangers

View Transcript

Transcript

Wally tells Dilbert, "Our boss has fallen under the spell of a consultant." The Boss walks by with his arms outstretched and a zombie-like look on his face. He says, "Must . . . Make assumptions." The Boss continues, "Must . . . write . . large checks to consultant . . . because . . . employees . . . are . . . morons." Wally says, "Just because we pay inexperienced strangers to tell us how to do our jobs, that doesn't mean we're morons!" Dilbert says, "Yeah! It's a coincidence."

The Self Serving Consultant

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
The Self Serving Consultant - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #consultant, #cruelty, #laziness, #work ethic, #business

View Transcript

Transcript

The Self-Serving Consultant. Dogbert: I recommend firing this guy so you have more money for me. I also recommend withholding his final check until he makes all of my PowerPoint slides for me. Man: This is messed up. Dogbert: Add some recommendations so I sound smart.

Elbonian Consultant

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Elbonian Consultant - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #managers & supervisors, #business, #consultant, #elbonia, #people, #local, #problem, #distribution, #execute, #Opinion, #barber

View Transcript

Transcript

boss: i hired an elbonian consultant because we couldn't afford anyone local. dilbert: have you ever consulted in this country? elbonian consultant: no, but people are people, so i assume it isn't that different from elbonia. boss: that's enough chitchat. tell us what we should do about the problems in our distribution system. elbonian system: i recommend executing one of your distributors as a warning to the others. boss: i'm going to need a second opinion. elbonian consultant: my second opinion is that your barber must hate your guts.

Dogbert Crisis Consultant

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Dogbert Crisis Consultant - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #business, #managers & supervisors, #subordinates, #allegations, #crisis, #consultant, #statement, #lying, #dumb, #believe, #public, #legal, #defense

View Transcript

Transcript

dogbert: my job as a crisis consultant is to help you respond to the allegations from seventy-three of your past and present subordinates. i'll issue a statement from you saying everyone of them is lying. ceo: who would be dumb enough to believe that? dogbert: i call them "the public."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #conversation, #discussion, #internet & world wide web, #humor consultant, #have more fun, #internet access to entertainment, #funny comment

View Transcript

Transcript

Boss: I hired a humor consultant to teach us how to have more fun at work. Dilbert: Does he cancel out the consultant you hired to filter our Internet access to entertainment? Wally: That was a funny comment. How'd you do that without a consultant?

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #embarrassment, #obliviousness, #hired consultant, #less confident, #overconfident people, #don't recognize mistakes, #didn't know studies, #feel like idiot

View Transcript

Transcript

Boss: I hired a consultant to teach us how to be less confident. Dilbert: Is that because research has shown that overconfident people don't recognize their own mistakes? Boss: Now I feel like an idiot because I didn't know about those studies. Dogbert: I did him first.

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #efficiency experts, #golf, #management consultant, #initate, #golf tournament, #profits, #Sports

View Transcript

Transcript

Boss: I hired a management consultant to teach us something he calls backwards causation. Dogbert: I studied the most successful companies. If you imitate them, you'll feel as if you have a strategy. Number one: sponsor a golf tournament so your CEO can meet celebrities. Boss: Profits, here we come.

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #Dogbert, #check, #computer, #reverse, #spell, #internet, #kiss, #dog, #prince, #lady di

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert the Frog says, "Dogbert, I need your help. Check my computer to see if there is any way to reverse the spell and make me human!" Dogbert stands on a book on a desk chair and looks at the computer. Dogbert thinks, "Hmm . . . 'The only way to reverse a frog spell is a kiss from a dog or a princess . . . '" Dilbert asks, "What'd it say?!!" Dogbert replies, "Gargle, you're gonna visit Lady Di."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #Dogbert, #the boss, #business, #consultant, #credibility, #person, #speak, #slower

View Transcript

Transcript

Dogbert sits across from the Boss's desk. The Boss says, "Why should I hire you as my business consultant?" Dogbert replies, "I have credibility because I don't work for your company. No smart person would work here full-time." The Boss says, "I work here full-time." Dogbert says, "Sorry. I'll try to speak slower."