Meeting To Decide Comic Strips
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992 Results for Meeting To Decide
View 1 - 10 results for Meeting To Decide comic strips. Discover the best "Meeting To Decide" comics from Dilbert.com.
Sunday November 01,
1998
Tags morale problem, boss solutions, knickname for group, scatalogical, involves monkeys, meeting, decide nickname, suggestions, business
Transcript
The Boss stands at the front of the room in front of an easel that says "Morale Problem." The Boss says, "I have a solution to our morale problem." The Boss continues, "We need a nickname for our group." Dilbert raises his hand and asks, "Can it be something scatological?" The Boss replies, "Ummm...no." Wally asks, "How about something that involves monkeys?" The Boss says, "I don't think so." Dilbert raises his hand and says, "Oooh...but can it be something that's both scatological AND involves monkeys?" Wally walks out of the meeting and says, "It's hard to be optimistic when he's so grumpy."
Tuesday November 19,
2019
Meeting To Decide When To Meet
Tags business, managers & supervisors, meeting, schedule, thursday, berate
Transcript
boss: i need everyone to come to the thursday meeting so we can decide when to schedule our next meeting. dilbert: why don't we just have the meeting on thursday? dilbert: see me later, so i can berate you for saying that. dilbert: do we need a meeting to schedule that?
Wednesday August 15,
2007
Tags set up meeting, review board, new technologies, decide, answer question
Transcript
The boss: "Carol, set up a meeting with the technology review board to decide how we'll decide on new technologies." Carol: "Do you also need a meeting to decide how you will put together a meeting to decide how to decide things?" "Maybe I should get some people together to help you answer that question." The Boss: "Maybe."
Saturday December 27,
2008
Tags anger, annoyance, business trip, humor, pleasure, offsite meeting, beelzebub inn, disgruntled underling book
Transcript
Wally says, "Where's our pointy haired boss?" Carol says, "He's at an offsite meeting to decide who to lay off." Carol says, "Don't worry. I booked the meeting at the Beelzebub Inn. No one has ever returned from there." The Boss says, "If you don't like the accommodations, next time have your own disgruntled underling book a place."
Sunday September 20,
2009
Tags meeting, bleak, pessimistic, doom, beating, angry, economy, violence, business
Transcript
Strategy Meeting Man says, "The weak economy is limiting our strategic options." Man says, "I won't sugarcoat anything." Man says, "Option one is a long slide to oblivion." Oblivion Man says, "Option two is a death spiral." Man says, "Our new company logo is a man getting sucked into a toilet." Man says, "Our revised mission statememnt is 'Forage during daylight. Hide at night.'" Man says, "I'll pass out clubs, and you can decide among yourselves how to downsize by fifty percent." Wally says, "Is it just me or was it better when they sugarcoated?"
Sunday December 27,
2009
Tags meeting, brilliant, moron, appearance, superficial, beard, silent, Funny, business
Transcript
The Boss says, "I invited silent Gary to help us decide on a technology direction." The Boss says, "We think he's a genius because he has a beard and he never speaks." The Boss says, "Gary, do you think we should use open source software for our support platform?" The Boss says, "Here it comes. He's rubbing his beard and giving me creepy eye contact." THe Boss says, "I detect a slight hint of disgust. It means Gary hates the idea! The Boss says, "Yes, it's all so obvious now. This is the worst idea in the history of mankind." The Boss says, "THe meeting is over. Silent Gary has spoken." Dilbert says, "You're actually a moron, aren't you?" Gary says, "Don't ruin this for me."
Saturday June 20,
2015
Four Hour Meeting
Tags decision, decisions, meeting, meetings, productivity, time, time management, business
Transcript
Boss: Yesterday, in our four-hour meeting, we agreed to postpone the vendor selection. Dilbert: No, we agreed to use our existing vendor. Asok: I thought we agreed to cancel the whole project. Dilbert: We might need some clarity on this. Boss: Four more hours should do it.
Saturday October 29,
2016
Dilbert In Wrong Meeting
Tags awkward, meeting, embarrassed, embarrassment, business
Transcript
Dilbert: I just realized I'm in the wrong meeting. My best bet is to slowly sink below the table and slip away. Someday, when my grandkids ask what I did for a living, I'm going to say I was unemployed.
Friday March 31,
2017
Attend A Meeting In My Place
Tags meeting, frivolous, stand-in, time management, business
Transcript
Boss: I need you to attend a meeting in my place. I agreed to the meeting before I realized it would be a total waste of time. Dilbert: This could not be worse. Boss: I might have volunteered to write up the meeting notes.
Thursday March 01,
2018
Optimal Meeting Density
Tags laziness, excuses, excuse, meeting, meetings, powerpoint, business
Transcript
Wally: We've achieved optimal meeting density. We have so many meetings that I can avoid all of them by saying I have another meeting at the same time. Man: While you're here, can you review my slide deck? Wally: I'd love to, but I have fifty slide decks ahead of you.