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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share November 18, 2011's comic on:


Tags #anxiety, #monsters, #supernatural beings, #beware of bogeyman, #bad parenting, #one over par, #everyhole

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Asok: My mother always told me to beware the bogeyman. Dilbert: That was bad parenting. There's no such thing as the bogeyman. Boss: I was one over par on every hole. Let me tell you all about it.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share November 16, 2014's comic on:


Tags #criticism, #frankness, #goals, #honesty, #managers, #root cause, #bad parenting, #pointy headed boos, #underlings, #rapidly evolving nature, #talented employee, #boss life story

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Boss: You haven't achieved any of your goals for the year. What is up with that? Dilbert: Do you want an explanation that goes back to the root cause? Boss: Of course. Dilbert: The problem started years ago, when two idiots unwisely created a third smaller idiot. They compounded their mistake with bad parenting. The toddler ate candy and sniffed wet paint until he became a pointy-headed boss. The pointy-headed boss set goals for his underlings that ignored the rapidly evolving nature of the industry. Then he got angry at his most talented employee for giving an accurate answer to a question. Boss: I hate you. Dilbert: Nothing could halt the downward spiral.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share June 09, 1997's comic on:


Tags #applying critical thinking, #children teaching, #critical thinking, #end of story, #father, #Parenting, #park bench, #right and wrong, #teach children, #Family

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Dogbert sits on a park bench with a man in a sweat suit. The man says, "I teach my kids that these things are right and these things are wrong. Period. End of story." Dogbert asks, "Wouldn't that teach them to believe anything they're told without applying any critical thinking?" The man replies, "I don't think about that." Dogbert says, "Duh."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share May 21, 1998's comic on:


Tags #hideous sycophant, #no hope, #career advancement, #lifestyle choice

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Dilbert and Allen walking down a hall. Dilbert asks, "So, Allen, what's it like to be a hideous sycophant?" Allen replies, "It's okay." Allen asks, "What's it like to have no hope of career advancement?" Dilbert responds, "Not bad." Allen and Dilbert sitting at table with food trays. Allen asks, "Were you born that way or is it a lifestyle choice?" Dilbert responds, "I'll ask my mom, but I think it was bad parenting."

Dilbert Gets Ready To Babysit

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Dilbert Gets Ready To Babysit - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share February 17, 2016's comic on:


Tags #parent, #Parenting, #babysitter, #babysitting, #children, #listening, #Family

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Dilbert: Is there anything I need to know before I babysit your kids tonight? Carol: They won't do anything you ask, and they don't respond to threats or consequences. Dilbert: So... what am I supposed to do? Carol: Try finding some idiot to babysit for you.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share April 03, 2016's comic on:


Tags #Advice, #advising, #teenagers, #parents, #Parenting, #tattoo, #piercing, #terrorism, #boundaries

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Carol: My teenager wants to pierce his ear. Should I let him? Dilbert: Sure. It's only a tiny hole and it heals. Carol: Good point. Narrator: Next day. Carol: Now he wants a small tattoo. Dilbert: Well, if it doesn't show... Narrator: Next week. Carol: Now he wants to grow a human ear on his back, the way scientists did with that rat. Dilbert: As long as he can cover it with a shirt when he gets a job, I see no problem. You have to let him live his own life. Narrator: One week later. Carol: He joined ISIS. Dilbert: I forgot to mention that I'm no good at giving advice.

Carol Raises Money For School

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Carol Raises Money For School  - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share December 10, 2018's comic on:


Tags #family & parenting, #guilt, #office, #office workers, #sales, #sarcasm, #school

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Carol: I'm selling chocolate bars to raise funds for my kid's school. Dilbert: I'm childless, so I already subsidize your kid's education. Carol: I was hoping it would feel too awkward for you to say no. Dilbert: By my calculations, you owe me money.

Selling Chocolate For School

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Selling Chocolate For School - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share December 11, 2018's comic on:


Tags #family & parenting, #managers & supervisors, #office, #office workers, #sales, #school, #capitalism

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Carol: I'm selling chocolate bars to raise money for my kid's school. Boss: That sounds like communism. I'm out. Carol: I'll give you a fake receipt so you can expense it. Boss: Now it sounds like capitalism. I'm in.