Above Salary Midpoint Comic Strips
130 Results for Above Salary Midpoint
View 1 - 10 results for above salary midpoint comic strips. Discover the best "Above Salary Midpoint" comics from Dilbert.com.
Share March 30, 1998's comic on:
In The Boss's office, The Boss tells Alice, "I can't give you a raise because you're above the salary midpoint. But at least your stock options are doing great!" Alice says, "I don't have any stock options." The Boss says, "Oh. I'm probably thinking of me." The Boss says, "Next, it says I should coach you on your interpersonal skills."
Share July 11, 2008's comic on:
The Boss says, "Your salary is already above the midpoint for your pay range." The Boss says, "Excuse me while I remove a sock to explain what will happen to your pay going forward." The Boss says, "Let's say the sock is inflation and my hand is your paycheck."
Share March 01, 1998's comic on:
At the staff meeting, The Boss says, "Good news on your budgets. I did some recalculating last night." The Boss says, "I found a way to give more money to every project without increasing the total budget for projects!" Wally raises his hand and says, "Question: Does your new way involve poor math skills?" Wally has a question mark above his head. Alice puts her arm in front of him and says, "Ignore the skeptic. Hey, I have a suggestion!" Alice says, "Maybe you could recalculate the salary budget for next year." Dilbert says, "And when was the last time you recalculated the vacation days?" Wally, using his calculator wrist watch, says, "I calculate that we have an hour left for this meeting, but I'm interested in YOUR caculation." Dilbert, Wally and Alice walk out of the meeting counting stacks of money. Dilbert says, "I think we got greedy when we asked if he change for a five." They whistle as they leave.
Share August 17, 2000's comic on:
The Boss says to Dilbert, "Your salary is 115% of the midpoint for your range. Isn't that exciting?" Dilbert replies, "Why don't you say it's 115% below the top of the range which can never be achieved under our system?" The Boss answers with both hands covering the paper on his desk, "No peeking at the supervisor's page."
Share January 19, 2011's comic on:
Man says, "Thanks for spending the day itnerviewing with us. I can now reveal the vature of the job and the salary range." Dilbert says, "You know my current salary and yet you wasted my entire day interviewing me for a job that pays less. You are either evil or inconsiderate." Man says, "So... not as good as your current job?" Dilbert says, "It's a tie. I'll need to test the commute one more time."
Share November 25, 2011's comic on:
Dilbert: I want to buy your company's product but it's like pulling teeth with you. Man: Ha ha! I switched from commissions to a guaranteed salary. I'm free from the tyranny of customer service! Dilbert: This is less than ideal. Man: No paperwork for me! Woot! Woot!
Share July 23, 1994's comic on:
Dogbert: My market research indicates that 50 % of your customers are above the median age. But the shocking discovery was that 50 % were below the median age. The Boss: what percent are exactly the median age? Dogbert: Im proposing to study that impasse two.
Share November 23, 1994's comic on:
Dilbert walks down the hall thinking, "I just lost the subtle mental connection between my performance and my salary." Dilbert continues thinking, "I get paid the same no matter what I do. I can stand here and flick my fingers and still get paid." As he flicks his fingers, Dilbert says to Alice and Wally, "Do you realize what this means??!" Wally says, "Hey! You're getting paid for that!"
Share November 30, 1994's comic on:
DOGBERTS TECH SUPPORT Dogbert sits at a desk and says into the phone, "I think I know what your problem is . . ." Dogbert continues, "Take all the parts and arrange them in neat piles. Now stand on your chair so you can see above your cubicle wall." A man stands on his chair holding the phone and looking over the cubicle walls. On the other end of the phone Dogbert continues, "Now shout 'Does anybody know how to read a manual?'"
Share May 23, 1995's comic on:
Dilbert says to the Boss, "My salary depends on your opinion of my work. But you have no interest in understanding what I do, so . . ." Dogbert enters carrying a briefcase. Dilbert gestures toward him and says, "I hired the Dogbert Public Relations Firm to hype my performance and get me a big raise." Dogbert hands the Boss a document and says, "Press release: engineer cures cancer while saving baby from burning building." The Boss says, "That's not in his objectives."