boss: wally, your work ethic is abysmal. you're fired.
wally: wouldn't it make more sense to loan me to a project you hate, so i can rot it from the inside?
boss: that's not your worst idea.
wally: is a raise out of the question?
Your management performance has been abysmal. I'm afraid I have to minimize you. "Minimize? Is that like downsize?" "Downsizing is only for non-managers." "Abysmal managers get minimized. Follow me." "Your new office is the size of a refrigerator crisper." "You will have no direct reports and your job title will be 'Director of Unnecessary and Special Projects.'" "Can I ever be maximized?" "Maybe if some other manager jumps off the roof." "You're right - the view up here is spectacular!"