Search Results for "academy award winner"

You can also use "quotes" and & to narrow down results.
1 - 10 of 87

Thank you for voting.
- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share October 22, 1994's comic on:

Tags #computer, #academy award winner, #next years award, #best actor, #technology

View Transcript

Transcript

"To configure the software, enter the name of next year's academy award winner for best actor." "Please wait."

Thank you for voting.
- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share April 12, 1992's comic on:

Tags #Dogbert, #guide, #movie, #advertising, #thumbs, #nominated, #academy, #award, #stallone, #funniest, #masterpledge, #source, #farm

View Transcript

Transcript

The panel is titled, "Dogbert's Guide to Movie Advertisements." Dogbert says, "Trust me." The advertisement says, "'Thumbs up.' -Gene Siskel." Dogbert says, "Meaning: Roger Ebert hates it." The advertisement says, "'Nominated for an Academy Award.'" Dogbert says, "Notice they don't say for what -- probably 'Best Gaffer.'" The advertisement says, "'Funniest movie of the year.'" Dogbert says, "He saw it in mid-January." The advertisement says, "Four stars . . . A masterpiece!'" Dogbert says, "The movie studio only paid off one critic. Must be a low-budget film." The advertisement says, "'Powerful performances.'" Dogbert says, "It's a downer. Somebody probably gets a disease and loses the farm." The advertisement says, "'I loved it!' -Floyd Belcher, Nosehair Magazine." Dogbert says, "Remember to consider the source." The advertisement says, "Stallone's funniest movie yet." Dogbert says, "I think you get the hang of it."

Thank you for voting.
- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share August 22, 2013's comic on:

Tags #actors & actresses, #contests, #work ethic, #academy award, #convincing portrayl, #dishonor, #nominated

View Transcript

Transcript

Computer: Dear Wally, You have been nominated for an academy award... for your convincing portrayal of an employee who does actual work. Dilbert: Do you think you'll win? Wally: It's a dishonor just to be nominated.

Thank you for voting.
- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share May 02, 2002's comic on:

Tags #celan desk award, #winner, #facilities people, #appeared unused, #higher tax bracket, #asok, #intern, #desk, #took desk

View Transcript

Transcript

The Boss points to Asok and says, "Asok is the winner of the $25 'Clean Desk Award.'" Asok responds, "Yesterday the facilities people took my desk because it appeared to be unused." Asok sits on the floor in his cubicle. He thinks, "I hope this doesn't bump me into a higher tax bracket."

Thank you for voting.
- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share November 01, 1992's comic on:

Tags #Dilbert, #emotion, #Dogbert, #mood, #e.t., #neighbor, #cat, #fat, #fool, #academy, #best, #dog, #frozen, #lavatory, #imagine, #passing, #sorrow

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert points a video camera at Dogbert and says, "Let's see some emotion, Dogbert." Dogbert says, "I need to be in the mood." Dilbert says, "Remember when it looked like 'E.T.' died, but really he didn't?" Dogbert sniffs like he is about to cry. Dilbert says, "The neighbor's cat says you're fat." Dogbert says angrily, "The fool!" Dilbert says, "Imagine you won an academy award for 'Best Dog.'" Dogbert looks surprised and says, "Me?!!" Dilbert says, "Imagine some frozen lavatory waste from a passing jet crashes through the roof and flattens me as I film this." Dogbert falls over and laughs. Dilbert asks, "Is that sorrow? It doesn't look like sorrow." Dogbert thinks, "Oops."

View more books now

Thank you for voting.
- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share September 28, 1998's comic on:

Tags #broken binder award, #once in a lifetime award, #peers, #dumping trash

View Transcript

Transcript

Asok sits at his computer. Dilbert hands him a binder. Dilbert says, "Asok, you're the winner of the prestigious "Broken Binder Award"." Asok smiles. Dilbert says, "It's a once-in-a-lifetime award that is voted on by your peers." Wally and Dilbert stand in front of Asok's cubicle. Inside the cubicle Asok holds the binder and cheers. Wally says, "How long have you been dumping your trash here?" Dilbert says, "Since my can got full."

Thank you for voting.
- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share November 10, 2001's comic on:

Tags #prestigious award, #attendance, #typo, #obsecenity, #name spelled wrong

View Transcript

Transcript

Asok is sitting at his computer. Carol hands him an award and says, "Asok, you are the winner of a prestigious award for attendance." Asok replies, "My name is misspelled.. As an obscenity." Carol says, "Typo." Asok exclaims, "Typo? You added four letters!!"

Thank you for voting.
- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share May 29, 2011's comic on:

Tags #business ethics, #quarreling, #major fix, #html, #website, #award, #improves morale, #glaoting, #winner, #technology

View Transcript

Transcript

Boss: This award goes to Dilbert for coming up with a major fix to our HTML. Dilbert: I didn't do anything like that. You must be thinking of someone else. Do you even know what HTML is? Boss: It's like... a website? Dilbert: So... you're giving an award for something you don't understand... to someone who wasn't involved? Boss: What I meant to say is that I give this award to... Alice... for... what she did. Alice: Yes! Envy me, you stinkin' losers! Boss: I don't know why people say this improves morale. Asok: I fixed the HTML!

Thank you for voting.
- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share December 01, 2013's comic on:

Tags #competition (psychology), #thinking, #ceos technology challenge, #innovative ideas, #fresh water, #elbonia, #award winning ideas, #water in a box

View Transcript

Transcript

CEO: I'm proud to announce the winner in the CEO's technology challenge. Two weeks ago, I challenged you to come up with innovative ideas for getting fresh water to Elbonia. The winner is someone named Wally. Wally's idea for bringing fresh water to Elbonia is... "in a box." That's the best one? Boss: We only had one entry. CEO: I hate your bald guts. Wally: I get that a lot. If you need me, I'll be in my cubicle thinking up award-winning ideas.

Award For Cutting Costs

Thank you for voting.
Award For Cutting Costs - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share October 23, 2018's comic on:

Tags #ceo, #award, #cutting, #costs, #department, #underfunded, #losers, #awards, #help

View Transcript

Transcript

CEO: I am proud to give you this award for cutting costs more than any other department. Dilbert: All of our projects failed because they are underfunded. CEO: How do you put up with these losers? The Boss: The awards help.