Accept Failure Comic Strips
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128 Results for Accept Failure
View 1 - 10 results for accept failure comic strips. Discover the best "Accept Failure" comics from Dilbert.com.
Saturday November 22,
2014
Boss Transfers Problem To Someone Else
Tags #Advice, #bad advice, #problem, #problems, #snag, #prodcuts, #accept failure, #lie, #transfer problem, #father, #old sayings, #Family
Transcript
Dilbert:I'm hitting a snag with this RFP because our products don't do what they need. Should I give up and accept failure or lie about our features and transfer the problem to them? Boss: My daddy used to say it isn't a problem if you can give it to someone else. Dilbert: Then he drove you to school?
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Friday May 08,
2015
Celebrate Failure
Tags #success, #failure, #credit, #taking credit, #reasoning, #managers
Transcript
Boss: Failure is the raw material of success. From now on, I will celebrate your failures. Dilbert: Will you still be taking credit for our successes? Boss: That part stays the same. I'm only trying to increase the contrast to your failures.
Sunday June 05,
2011
Tags #absent mindedness, #annoyance, #status upadte, #multitask, #one task, #doubling rate of failure, #useless blob of carbon
Transcript
Alice: Seriously? You're going to do email while I give my status update? Boss: Don't worry. I can multitask. Alice: Multitask? you can barely do one task properly. All you're doing is doubling your rate of failure. Congratulations on becoming the most useless blob of carbon in the universe. Boss: What? Sorry. I missed that. Alice: I said my project is on schedule. Boss: Okay. Great. Alice: This totally works for me.
Sunday December 18,
2011
Tags #declare failure, #explaining things, #frustration, #incompetence, #office workers, #partial victory, #platform upgarde, #teds brain, #trapped
Transcript
Boss: Ted can explain what you need to do before the platform upgrade. Dilbert: No he can't. Ted's brain is where knowledge goes to die. He's not good at explaining things. The knowledge might be in his brain, but it's trapped there. Unfortunately, Ted's incompetence is so unbelievable that you literally don't believe me. In time, you will assume that Ted taught me well but I forgot all of it. I'm doomed before I start. Let's just declare failure and move on. Boss: That works for me. Dilbert: Partial victory.
Friday November 03,
1989
Tags #Dilbert, #Dogbert, #terrarium, #failure, #weather, #patterns, #climatic, #experiment
Transcript
Dilbert leans over a table looking at a glass container. Dilbert says to Dogbert, "My terrarium experiment is a failure." Dilbert continues, "By now it should have started its own self-contained weather patterns." Dilbert continues, "After all this waiting, it's just so . . . so . . ." Dogbert asks, "Anti-climatic?"
Saturday June 16,
1990
Tags #Dilbert, #computer, #perfect, #program, #end zone, #failure, #Sports, #metaphor
Transcript
Dilbert sits at his desk working on his computer. Dilbert says, "One more clever move and I will have written the perfect computer program." Dilbert throws his arms over his head and yells, "Yes!" Dogbert yells, "Spike it in the end zone!" Dilbert throws his computer on the ground and breaks it. Dogbert says, "Another failure of the sports metaphor."
Saturday August 03,
1991
Tags #Dilbert, #Dogbert, #judged, #accept, #lacked, #emotion, #judging, #them
Transcript
Dilbert says to Dogbert, "I feel like I'm being judged by everybody I see." Dilbert asks, "Why can't people accept other people as they are, without judging them?" Dogbert holds up a card with the score "7.5" written on it. Dogbert says, "It was a good speech, but it lacked emotion."
Friday November 08,
1991
Tags #Dilbert, #japanese, #offer, #company, #ceo, #employees, #laid off, #accept, #neener, #Dogbert
Transcript
A man stands in front of Dilbert's desk and says, "The Japanese have made an offer to buy the company." The man continues, "As CEO you would make $68 million . . . But the employees would all be laid off." Back at home, Dilbert asks Dogbert, "If I accept, what will I say to the employees?" Dogbert replies, "How about 'neener neener?'"
Saturday May 29,
1993
Tags #Dogbert, #school, #system, #failure, #park bench, #preparing, #scientist, #engineers, #economy, #instead, #janitors, #maids
Transcript
Dogbert sits on a park bench with a woman and a little boy. The woman says, "Our school system is a complete failure, Dogbert." Dogbert asks, "Why's that?" The woman replies, "The schools should be preparing these kids to be scientists and engineers. That's the only way our economy will prosper." The woman continues, "Instead, we'll be a nation of maids and janitors." Dogbert replies, "Yeah, but think how clean it will be."
Monday March 06,
1995
Tags #week behind, #poor leadership, #drained, #parents, #accept some resposibility, #creating you, #parents drunk
Transcript
The Boss enters Dilbert's cubicle and asks, "Can you explain why you're a week behind schedule?" Dilbert turns to face the Boss and says, "Your poor leadership has drained me of the enthusiasm that is necessary to succeed. But it's not completely YOUR fault." Dilbert continues, "Frankly, your parents have to accept some responsibility for creating you." The Boss asks, "Even if they were drunk?"