Accepted Comic Strips
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12 Results for Accepted
View 1 - 10 results for accepted comic strips. Discover the best "Accepted" comics from Dilbert.com.
Monday May 11,
1992
Tags #Dilbert, #Dogbert, #advertising, #company, #underestimate, #intelligence, #apology, #accepted
Transcript
Dilbert sits in his chair reading the newspaper and Dogbert sits on Dilbert's legs. Dogbert says, "I'm going to open the 'Dogbert Advertising Company.'" Dogbert continues, "Apparently, people will believe just about anything that makes them feel good." Dilbert replies, "Hey, don't underestimate our intelligence." Dogbert says, "I could never underestimate you intelligence." Dilbert says, "Apology accepted."
Monday November 28,
2005
Tags #clone themsleves, #unethical, #morality, #self causing, #accepted norms, #garbageman
Transcript
"Why is it unethical for humans to clone themselves?" "Morality is based on accepted norms. And accepted norms are based on morality." "It's self causing?" "Ironically, yes."
Friday December 18,
1992
Tags #Dilbert, #ratbert, #Family, #rat, #drug, #testing, #change
Transcript
Dilbert sits at his desk. Ratbert says, "You've never accepted me in your family because I'm a little rat." Ratbert continues, "But I'll be testing a drug at the lab that will change that. No more little rat." Dilbert asks, "You won't be a rat?" Ratbert replies, "Don't tell me it's the 'rat' part that bothers you . . ."
Saturday June 22,
1996
Tags #employee suggestions, #harmless, #stupud, #theorym, #replace pencils
Transcript
Wally says to Dilbert, "The only employee suggestions that get accepted are the ones that are harmless and stupid." They sit down at a conference table and Wally continues, "I submitted some harmless and stupid ideas to test my theory." The Boss sits at his desk and reads a document that says, "Suggestion: Replace all #2 pencils with #4 pencils. The hard lead lasts longer yet costs the same." The Boss thinks, "That could work."
Saturday August 31,
1996
Tags #becoming annoying, #misinterpret everything, #asservtive, #annoying not asservtive, #clothes dryer
Transcript
Dogbert and Ratbert walk through the house. Dogbert says, "I hear you're becoming an annoying person who misinterprets everything." Ratbert replies, "Yes, I'm more assertive." Dogbert says, "I said annoying, not assertive." Ratbert says, "Apology accepted." They stand at the top of the cellar stairs. Dogbert opens the dryer door and says, "Whatever you do, don't climb in this clothes dryer." Ratbert says, "Yeah, it does look cozy in there."
Sunday October 18,
1992
Tags #Dilbert, #Wally, #collecting, #money, #mary, #birthday, #gift, #levels, #engineers
Transcript
A woman tells Dilbert and Wally, "I'm collecting money for Mary's birthday gift." Dilbert asks, "How much do you want?" She replies, "Oh, it's totally up to you." The woman continues, "However, the usual accepted levels are, in effect . . ." She continues, "Ten dollars from her boss and anybody else who thinks it would improve his odds of becoming romantically involved with her." The woman continues, "Five dollars from male co-workers who feel their manhood would be threatened by a smaller gift . . ." She continues, "One dollar if you're a secretary or if nobody is watching . . ." The woman concludes, "Or you can just ruffle the money already in the envelope and act like you gave five." Dilbert says, "Let's say you fall into more than one of those categories . . ." Wally ruffles the money in the envelope. The woman thinks, "Engineers."
Friday March 26,
2004
Tags #rat, #meeting, #walls spot, #seat filler, #proedcest day, #career work out, #look at me now, #fired, #business
Transcript
Ratbert: Wally is in the men's room. I've accepted a position as his seat filler. This is the proudest day of my life. I never ingrained that my career would work out so well, I want to scream to the world " look at name now" allyL false alarm. you're fired.
Sunday November 23,
2008
Tags #apologize for efficiency, #apology, #how far, #meeting, #reasonable assumptions, #timeline for deployment, #vacation, #without knowledge of insight, #business
Transcript
The boss: Let's figure out a timeline for development. Dilbert: Ted is the only one who knows anything about that. And he's on vacation. The boss: Let's see how far we can get without Ted. Alice: You mean without knowledge or insight? The boss: We can make reasonable assumptions. Dilbert: Or we could wait for Ted to come back tomorrow and ask him.. The boss: I called this meeting and it's not a meeting until someone's time gets wasted! Dilbert: I apologize for my efficiency. The boss: Apology accepted.
Sunday May 30,
2010
Tags #meeting, #certification, #lazy, #lie, #plan b, #yell, #passionate defense, #argument, #scare, #wide eyes, #point, #shake finger, #apology, #business
Transcript
Wally says, "I accomplished nothing this week because I was going through certification." Wally thinks, "Don't ask. Don't ask. Don't ask." The Boss says, "Certification for? what?" Wally thinks, "Plan B: Mount a passionate defense against an argument that no one made." Wally says, "How can you say that certification is a waste of time?!" Wally says, "Without certification, management would be reduced to randomness!" Wally says, "Do you think you'd be happier just guessing who is qualified to do what? Do you? Do you?" The Boss says, "There's something wrong with you." Wally says, "Apology accepted. Next."
Tuesday April 14,
2015
Wally's Many Patents
Tags #accomplishments, #deception, #work ethic, #patent, #inventions
Transcript
Boss: On your list of accomplishments, you say you filed seventeen patents for the company this month. Wally: I did. Here's the documentation on each of them. Boss: Hmm... it will be three years before I know if these are accepted. Wally: Until then, let's play it safe and assume I'm awesome.