Accounting Systems Comic Strips
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Dilbert: "I've never seen you do any real work around here, Irv. How do you get away with it?" IRV: "I wrote the code for our accounting system back in the mid-eighties. It's a million lines of undocumented spaghetti logic." DILBERT: "It's the Holy Grail of technology!!" IRV: "You boys may find a little extra in your envelopes this month."
A witch sitting on a throne points at Dilbert and yells, "Fool! Why have you come to the accounting department?!!" Dilbert is wrapped in chains and guarded by a troll holding a spear. Dilbert says, "Uh . . . I had some questions, sir . . . Ma'am . . . Er, sir?" Dilbert asks, "Are you a man or woman?" The witch replies, "In accounting, it doesn't really matter."
Witch: So... You've come to the accounting department for an explanation of the budget report, aye? Unchain him, Bradley. Normally we would torture and kill you for questioning our report. Dilbert: But you realized that my questions are valid? Witch: No. I'm promoting Bradley. You're my new analyst.
Dilbert says to a witch, "No! You can't force me to work in accounting! I'm an engineer!" The witch replies, "It's too late . . ." The witch explains, "You came . . . You breathed the air . . . The change is irreversible . . . Bradley will train you." Spikes grow out of Dilbert's back and he begins to turn into a troll. Dilbert says, "I'm starting to get a bad attitude about this job . . ." Bradley the Troll replies, "Good. I can skip that part of the training."
The caption says, "Dilbert is forced to work in the accounting department." Dilbert has turned into a troll. Bradley the Troll says, "First you must understand how numbers change reality . . ." Bradley continues, "Some people think numbers merely REFLECT reality . . . But we believe that numbers CREATE reality." Bradley shows Dilbert a room where an overseer cracks a whip at several other trolls. Bradley says, "This our budget-erasing room . . ." The supervisor yells, "Erase faster!!"
Dilbert says to another engineer with electronic devices strapped to his body, "Please don't hurt me, Techno-Bill!" Bill says, "Make your move." Dilbert thinks, "My only chance is to use my cellular phone and modem to dial into his control module and set off all his systems." Techno-Bill says as he presses a button on his cellular phone, "Fool! I have autodialing." Dilbert runs away screaming as the gadgets on his belt ring and beep.
Wally leans back in his desk chair sleeping. The Boss says, "Hey, what are you doing? Are you sleeping?" Wally sits up and says, "Uh . . . No, I was brainstorming." The Boss asks, "What idea did you some up with?" Wally answers, "It involves Irene in accounting. She's the stern nurse and I'm the incorrigible industrialist." The Boss says, "I already thought of that one."
Wally says to Dilbert and Ted, "My productivity is shot. I can't stop daydreaming about Irene in accounting." Ted says, "Do what I did. Try to phase out of it by daydreaming of Laura in engineering, then move to the ordinary-looking Betty in marketing." Wally replies, "Now I'm daydreaming about all three of them." Ted replies, "Same thing happened to me."