Accused Of Punching Comic Strips
Search Filters
Year
- 2022
- 2021
- 2020
- 2019
- 2018
- 2017
- 2016
- 2015
- 2014
- 2013
- 2012
- 2011
- 2010
- 2009
- 2008
- 2007
- 2006
- 2005
- 2004
- 2003
- 2002
- 2001
- 2000
- 1999
- 1998
- 1997
- 1996
- 1995
- 1994
- 1993
- 1992
- 1991
- 1990
- 1989
Character
42 Results for Accused Of Punching
View 1 - 10 results for accused of punching comic strips. Discover the best "Accused Of Punching" comics from Dilbert.com.
Saturday March 03,
2007
Tags #accused of punching, #crazy coworker, #defense, #less carzy, #list of employees, #further punching
Transcript
Catbert: "Alice, you've been accused of punching a crazy co-worker." Alice: "In my defense, it did make her less crazy." Catbert: "I know. Here's a list of additional crazy employees I'd like you to punch."
Saturday February 29,
2020
Punching Boss
Tags #managers & supervisors, #business, #improvement, #money, #morale, #punching, #violence, #kicking, #ideas
Transcript
boss: i'm looking for ideas to improve morale without spending money. alice: we could take turns punching you. boss yells: no punching! any other ideas? wally: did anyone suggest kicking?
Saturday April 04,
1998
Tags #overdosing, #anti depressants, #induce vomiting, #mission statement, #ten times salary, #heaving, #alice punching
Transcript
Wally, Alice, and Dilbert are meeting. Wally says, "Alice is overdosing on antidepressants." Dilbert says, "We must induce vomiting." Wally holds a piece of paper in front of Alice's face. Wally says, "Look at our mission statement, Alice. The people who wrote it earn ten times your salary." Dilbert comes home disheveled. Dilbert says to Dogbert, "The plan worked perfectly, up to the point where all three of us were having and Alice was punching us."
Friday August 06,
1999
Tags #feel sick, #crying or punching, #bad case, #mahjobis crappus
Transcript
Alice sits in a doctor's office. Alice says, "I feel sick every morning." Alice says, "All day long, I feel like either crying or punching people." The doctor says, "You've got a bad case of mahjobis crappus."
Monday December 22,
2003
Tags #career counseling, #mad about downsized, #involves punching, #kicking, #resume, #alice, #seeking job
Transcript
Career Counseling. Dogbert: "Apparently you're still mad about being downsized." "According to your resume, you're seeking a job that involves 'punching a short, stocky guy with pointy hair.'" "Is that the only job you'd consider?" Alice: "I also like kicking."
Thursday November 24,
2005
Tags #accused of stealing, #computers, #took the fifth, #job interview, #lied, #stole
Transcript
Why did you leave your last job? "They accused me of stealing four computers." "Did they make you confess?" "I took the fifth."
Wednesday July 25,
2007
Tags #punching people, #high rates, #ridiculous combpver, #punch face in, #regain element, #surprise, #therapy session, #couch, #expressing
Transcript
Alice: I can't stop punching people who deserve to be punched. For example, your high rates and ridiculous combover make me want to punch your face in. Therapist: But you won't right? Alice: Lets see what happens when I regain the element of surprise.
Monday December 14,
2009
Tags #steam, #confusion, #violence, #punching, #computer, #crazy, #technology
Transcript
Alice says, "My computer kept locking up, so I had to let off some steam." The Boss says, "You can't fix your computer by punching it!" Alice says, "Why would I punch my computer? That's crazy." Asok says, "Alice?"
Wednesday September 04,
2013
Tags #competition (psychology), #ignorance (knowledge), #big tech firms, #hiring people, #prestigious degrees, #hiring idiots, #vacuum up, #hiring accused murderers, #bail
Transcript
Catbert: The big tech firms say they no longer care about hiring people who have prestigious degrees. Obviously, they're trying to sucker the rest of us into hiring idiots while they vacuum up the people from the top schools. CEO: We need to get on this. Catbert: We could say we get good results by hiring accused murderers who are out on bail.
Saturday September 10,
2016
Accused Of Forgery
Tags #motivation, #performance, #forgery, #pessimism, #giving up, #resistance
Transcript
Catbert: You stand accused of forging an expense approval from the head of Marketing. Your malfeasance caused the project to finish on time and under budget. Next time, just give up and lose hope like everyone else. Dilbert: Will do.