Act Interested Comic Strips
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The Boss, Wally and Dilbert sit at a conference table. The Boss says, "It's status report time where each of you gets to prove what poor communicators you are while I act interested!" The Boss continues, "Remember to use lots of acronyms that only you understand. And speak in a whiny monotone that makes us all want to slap you!" Wally says, "I'm starting to lose my idealism."
Dilbert asks, "Do you want to hear what I'm doing at work?" Dilbert's mom is holding a plant. She replies, "Not so much." Dilbert says, "You're supposed to act interested because you're my mother." His mom replies, "Well..." Her voice continues, "I'm not saying you're boring, it's just that everything you talk about is boring." Dilbert says, "That's the same as saying I'm boring." Dilbert's mom is watering a plant. She responds, "Only when you talk." Dilbert asks, "But you care about me, right? When I hurt, you hurt?" Dilbert's mom has put down her plant. She says, "Actually, the electrical impulses in your brain don't fly across the air gap to my brain." She continues, "You could be writhing in agony and I wouldn't feel a thing." Dilbert looks down and says, "Ouch." Dilbert's picks up her plant again and says, "air gap."
Boss: I'm supposed to act interested in your well-being to boost your job performance. Dilbert: No thanks. Boss: So... how's your wife, or girlfriend, or same-sex partner, or loneliness? Dilbert: Fine. Boss: Okay, I think that covers it. Dilbert: Look! My productivity is soaring!
Airport Security Man says, "Step over here, sleeper cell." Man says, "Our new pat down procedures might be more invasive than you're used to." Man says, "Only terrorists act nervous in these situations." Airport Security
Dilbert stands in front of the dresser mirror adjusting his tie and Dogbert sits on the bed watching him. Dogbert says, "The best way to impress women at the party is to just act naturally." Dilbert walks though a party thinking, "Act naturally, act naturally." Back at home, Dilbert says, "Logically, it is impossible to 'act' naturally." Dogbert says, "Most great advice doesn't hold under scrutiny."
Ratbert: "I discovered I can look interested in what people say by making my eyes big." "Go ahead - say something. I'm ready." Dilbert: "I'm trying to get some work done here." Ratbert: "Work, you say? Very interesting."
The Boss stands in front of a camera and Dogbert sits in a director's chair. Dogbert hands the Boss a script and says, "Stick to the script. Act sincere and beg your customers to forgive you." The Boss looks into the camera and reads, "It was wrong for us to sell keyboards with no 'Q.' We're sorry. We're morons." Dilbert and Dogbert sit on the couch watching the Boss's television commercial. In the advertisement, the Boss says, "We're dumber than squirrels. We hear voices and do what they command. I have broccoli in my socks." Dilbert says, "Good writing." Dogbert responds, "Thanks."
The Boss, Wally, Alice and Dilbert are sitting at a conference table. Wally says, "I'm happy to report that I have embraced the new company slogan 'Act like you own the company.'" Wally continues, "This morning I fired the marketing department and had security escort them out." The Boss replies, "That's not exactly what we had in mind . . ." As a security guard taps on the Boss's shoulder, Wally says, "Fortunately I anticipated your reaction."
Dilbert and his mother sit on the couch. Dilbert shows his mother a document and says, "My company asked all employees to act as salespeople to friends and family. I think you could use this, Mom." Dilbert's mother says, "Why would I need a primary rate circuit? I've already got a frame relay drop to my web server in the sewing room." Dilbert thinks, "This is going to be a tough sale." Dilbert's mother says, "Hello-o-o! Earth to Dilbert! This is packet data . . ."
Dilbert sits at a table with a woman. Dilbert says, "Your resume looks good, but we could only pay half of what you're making now. Are you interested?" The woman replies, "So . . . You're looking for a brilliant engineer who is actively seeking a pay cut?" Dilbert says, "Well, you have to consider the many intangibles." The woman asks, "Such as my savings account if I worked here?"