Act Best Comic Strips

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380 Results for Act Best

View 1 - 10 results for act best comic strips. Discover the best "Act Best" comics from Dilbert.com.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #dating pretty boys, #look best, #act best, #more bread!, #knows he can't do better

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"I'm tired of dating pretty boys where I need to look and act my best all the time." "I want a guy who knows he can't do better than me, no matter what I look like." "MORE BREAD!!!"

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #Dilbert, #Women, #party, #act, #naturally, #scrutiny

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Dilbert stands in front of the dresser mirror adjusting his tie and Dogbert sits on the bed watching him. Dogbert says, "The best way to impress women at the party is to just act naturally." Dilbert walks though a party thinking, "Act naturally, act naturally." Back at home, Dilbert says, "Logically, it is impossible to 'act' naturally." Dogbert says, "Most great advice doesn't hold under scrutiny."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #email, #boss, #clear, #nonsense, #act randomly, #turn on and off

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Dilbert says, "I got your e-mail. It almost made sense." Dilbert says, "My plan is to act randomly and hope for the best." The Boss says, "Perhaps I can be more clear." Dilbert says, "Really? You can just turn it on and off like that?"

Best In The Industry

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Best In The Industry - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #headphones, #best, #persuading, #humor, #confused, #jokes

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Dilbert: The headphones we make are the best in the industry. Man: Our marketing campaign will focus on how they cure brain tumors and raise your IQ. Dilbert: They don't do any of that. Man: This is exactly why we don't let engineers do marketing.

Best Employees

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Best Employees - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #employees, #managers & supervisors, #best, #office workers, #industry, #attitude

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boss: we have the best employees in the entire industry. except for ted obviously. ted: wait...what? boss: and here comes the attitude.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #announcements, #committee decided, #file naming, #month, #year, #day, #space, #temperature, #airport, #hat size, #long meeting, #best work

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Ted: The committee decided that the file naming convention will start with the date, in the order of month, year, day... then a space, then the temperature at the airport, and the hat size of the nearest squirrel. To be perfectly honest, it was a long meeting and we probably didn't do our best work toward the end.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #business ethics, #language, #best shore, #off shore, #some countries, #better than others, #racists

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Boss: And we plan to bestshore the production. Dilbert: What? Boss: We say bestshore now instead of offshore. Dilbert: Is that because we never tried to pick the best shore until now? Boss: Of course we tried to pick the best shore! Dilbert: But we never succeeded because we're incompetent? Boss: All I'm saying is that some countries are better than others! Wally: We're racists?

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #act nervous, #air travel, #airport security, #guards, #more invasive, #new pat down, #procedures, #situations, #sleeper cell, #terrorits, #tsa, #molestation

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Airport Security Man says, "Step over here, sleeper cell." Man says, "Our new pat down procedures might be more invasive than you're used to." Man says, "Only terrorists act nervous in these situations." Airport Security

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #meetings, #questioning, #best plan, #ignorant nusinace, #meeting, #business

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Boss: This is the best plan in the world, and anyone who disagrees is an ignorant nuisance. Now I'll open it up for comments. Anyone? Anyone? Wally: I'd like to thank you for shortening this meeting.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #best decison, #conference room, #listed reasons, #review, #thinking, #vendor, #work, #writing

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Man: Why are you picking this vendor? Dilbert: I listed the four reasons. Individually, each reason would not be compelling. But viewed as a whole, this is the best decision. This first reason is weak. Dilbert: And here we go.