Actionable Anlytics Comic Strips
5 Results for Actionable Anlytics
View 1 - 5 results for actionable anlytics comic strips. Discover the best "Actionable Anlytics" comics from Dilbert.com.
Boss: Do we have any actionable analytics from our big data in the cloud? Dilbert: Yes, the data shows that my productivity plunges whenever you learn new jargon. Boss: Maybe in-memory computing will accelerate your applications. Dilbert: Plunge, plunge, plunge.
Ted says to Dilbert and Wally, "We had fifteen system failures with the previous software." Dilbert says to Ted, "Your data aren't actionable." Ted replies, "What?" Dilbert continues, "Your presentation has no practical walue." Ted throws his hands in the air in defeat and says to Dilbert, "Well, if that's suddenly a crime then call me guilty!" Wally says, "Now the meeting feels awkward can we go back to acting interested?" Dilbert replies, "I guess." Ted says, "Fine. Let's put this ugly incident behind us."
Ratbert: Let's talk like idiots. Bob: Ha ha! You go first! Ratbert: Slap lipstick on the pig, put a stake in the ground, and view it from 30,000 feet. Bob: That deliverable is actionable. Ratbert: Wait... why do I suddenly feel like hiring you? Bob: And why do I feel underpaid?
Dilbert sits at his desk reading a memo. Dilbert reads, "Urgent memo to all employees:" Dilbert says, "Uh-oh. Looks important." Dilbert continues reading, "If we are to remain competitive, you must proactively improve quality on all actionable items!" Dilbert says, "Wow! That was inspiring. My heart is pounding. I'm all tingly . . . I'd better take the rest of the day off . . ."
Carol: Come quickly. I think Asok entered the jargon matrix. Asok: At the end of the day, I want some actionable insights that will improve our cross-platform integration. Carol: Can he hear us? Dilbert: Yes, but our words are just noise to him now. Asok: Silo.