The Boss: Our CEO will visit here next week. You all know what to do.
Dilbert: we should stop all productive work and create overhead transparencies that exggerate our value.
The Boss: and a few of our uglier coworkers will be replaced by actors.
Dilbert: As long as its no Gerard Depardieu.
Wally: "I'm about halfway finished with the online studay class on sexual harassment."
The Boss: "Wally, we don't have an online study course on sexual harassment."
Wally: "THat would explain why all the actors seemed so happy."
Dilbert says to Dogbert, "Helen just canceled our date." Dogbert asks, "What excuse this time?" Dilbert sits on the hassock with Dogbert and answers, "Apparently she discovered tiny frozen cavemen in her ice cube trays and she's trying to revive them for science." Dogbert asks, "Are you the least bit suspicious of that story?" Dilbert replies, "Yeah . . . How do I know they aren't just pretending to be cavemen?"
Wally: I like to have opinions. But not informed opinions. It takes so much work to get informed that it defeats the whole point of having an opinion in the first place. Dilbert: What exactly do you think is the "point" of having an opinion? Wally: The point is that it feels good. Dilbert: That's totally nuts. Wally: Oh, is it? Unless you have hard data to back up that comment, it was nothing but an uninformed opinion. That felt good. Dilbert: Gaaa!!! You're starting to make sense! Wally: Your whole life is a lie.
Computer: Dear Wally, You have been nominated for an academy award... for your convincing portrayal of an employee who does actual work. Dilbert: Do you think you'll win? Wally: It's a dishonor just to be nominated.
