Search Results for "add person"
Share April 15, 1996's comic on:
The Boss appears in the door of Alice's cubicle and says, "Alice, you've been working eighteen hours a day. I realized I must add a person to the effort." The Boss continues, "So I hired a night shift manager. After I go home at five o'clock he'll take over and ask why you're behind schedule." The night shift manager says to Alice, "I like my status reports rendered in 3-D, but don't spend a lot of time on it."
Share March 23, 1993's comic on:
Dilbert sits on the floor hugging his knees and Dogbert sits on the couch armrest. Dilbert says, "I have a chance to be promoted to 'Technology Prima Donna' if I can develop a personality disorder." Dilbert says, "I don't know how a person can learn that sort of thing." Dogbert replies, "It's easy." Dogbert explains, "Imagine Dustin Hoffman in 'Rain Man.' Now add a dash of Sean Penn meeting a paparazzo." Dilbert clenches his fists and says, "Grrr . . . . Mumble . . . Grrr . . . "
Share April 13, 2011's comic on:
Dilbert: Our products only appeal to people who aren't good at comparison shopping. But I justify it because our existence prevents competitors from raising prices. Am I a bad person? Dogbert: I molt a little bit every time you talk.
Share April 29, 2011's comic on:
Dogbert: Are you trying to recover a password, PIN code, user name, pass code or code word? Man: I hate this stupid complicated planet! I am so out of here! Dogbert's password recovery service. And that is how Floyd became the first person to hold his breath and jump into outer space.
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Share May 24, 2012's comic on:
Loud Howard meets Topper Coworker: I did something stupid today!!! Topper: That's nothing. I'm the dumbest person in the history of the universe!!! Together: I'm a moron!!! Dilbert: I need a new cubicle.
Share May 31, 1990's comic on:
Dogbert looks at a clock on the wall and thinks, "By now Dilbert should have infiltrated Buckingham Palace." Dogbert thinks, "One kiss from the Princess and his 'frog curse' will be lifted . . . I just hope his disguise works . . ." Inside a tower, Lady Diana asks, "Charlie, why does your breath smell like flies?" Dilbert the Frog answers, "Uh . . . I had lunch with a common person today . . ."
Share July 17, 1990's comic on:
Dilbert thinks, "I'm feeling timid today . . . I felt timid yesterday too . . ." Dilbert thinks, "Holy cheese! I may be a timid person." Dilbert says to Dogbert, "I've decided to build a blanket fort with the living room furniture and live in it forever." Dogbert replies, "I'm so proud of you."
Share June 03, 1991's comic on:
Dogbert sits across from the Boss's desk. The Boss says, "Why should I hire you as my business consultant?" Dogbert replies, "I have credibility because I don't work for your company. No smart person would work here full-time." The Boss says, "I work here full-time." Dogbert says, "Sorry. I'll try to speak slower."
Share April 10, 1992's comic on:
A man says to Dilbert, "Think of the company as a person. We in marketing would be the 'brains.'" The man continues, "The sales department would be the 'body.'" Dilbert asks, "What's engineering?" The man replies, "The snot."